Finishing things

First thing on my list was KITCHEN. It’s been a whole day but I’m pretty much ready to tick it off now. I went through everything. The freezer was like a time warp. A gravy boat full of what was designated “the best gravy ever”. I’m defrosting it. I’m curious. Might have it for lunch in a vegetable casserole and see how my new temple shaped body copes with meaty winey filthjuice.. I think it went in there about a year ago though so it’s probably ill advised. But it’s 2020. Nothing can go wrong in 2020.

Other kitchen highlights included a block of about 40 frozen rashers of bacon, a cornucopia of hot sauces, four jars of expired paprika, enough rice to feed China, all the pasta, most of the lentils, antibiotics that expired in 2010 stored in a box of teabags, and six almost totally empty jars of chutney. I tend to eat the lot but the last spoonful and then leave it in the fridge for a decade.

I’m not very good at finishing things it seems. I followed the link to that “which job should you be doing” survey online a few days ago and literally got as far as the question “Do you like to see things through to the finish.” I closed it there because, at the time I told myself I had the old experience of not being able to connect to any of the answers they had as options. In retrospect I probably should have said “No, I’m shit at it” or whatever their equivalent would have been.

Because it seems I am, now I think about it. I am shit at it. There are many books I love that I’ve left at the last chapter. Even crap ones like the Harry Potter books – I read them as they came out but left the very last one until about a year ago when I found it in my bedroom and thought “fuck it I should know how it ends”. There are computer games I’ll never finish despite getting to just before the final boss fight. I got all the Weapons in Final Fantasy 7 and the best Chocobo and then I stopped. I’ll never finish it now as I barely play computer games. I love rehearsals and process shows that deliberately never settle like The Factory and AFTLS and Christmas Carol, and always feel a sense of closing when we secure up the more traditional shows I’m in before the director goes home. There are lots of good bottles of whisky I’ve taken down to the final dram. I found one today. It looked at me. I looked at it. Then I made a hot chocolate and got in the bath. I’m gonna keep strong until that stops happening.

Even the list I made for today. Everything is ticked off apart from “Minimum 1 hour writing non blog”. Did I do that? Did I bollocks. I’ve put 2 hours on tomorrow’s list instead, and put it higher up so it doesn’t fall foul of this newly identified pathology. I’ll have to do something about it now I’ve spotted it…

This is the end of today’s blog. Feel free to share it widely and send me nice comments (they’re screened to stop the bots but they get through eventually). Before long there’ll be a link here to buy me a cup of matcha or whatever absurd fad I’ve adopted. Meantime be KIND dammit and do things with awareness when possible. Out. (You see, I finished it. Twice.        

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Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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