I’m at a little theatre in Hayes. All around me they are dismantling the truss and disconnecting cables. The show is just over. Lou is making sure she hasn’t missed some of the underwear that was thrown into the wings by the five beautiful men she’s been working with.
I’m just sitting here. Gonna drive her and one of the dancers back to Brighton once she’s packed and he’s changed. I just met and hugged the star. “Thanks for looking after Lou,” I told him. “She’s a very special energy,” he told me and I concur.
She’s covering wardrobe for this fever dream I’ve just experienced. I sat behind most of the audience. There was literally one other man in the whole house. Just one. I thought I would see lots more, I thought “I might well be the only straight man”, but I didn’t expect it to be just women. Might be that Hayes is not very pink.
“Mostly it’s just you and a hen night in tonight,” Lou had actually warned me beforehand. I didn’t process it fully.
Lou dressed five men. They came on stage, took most of their clothes off, chucked them into the wings. Exited. Lou put more clothes on them. They go back out again, tear them all off again, exit for more clothes. In some way it’s a metaphor for the entertainment industry. We dress up as something, have a moment where we shine, show everybody as much of ourselves as we can, then go into darkness. Then we come back into the light transformed and do it all again. Why? If we knew that we’d probably stop doing it.
I found myself screaming along with the ladies. The more naked they get the louder it got. A bunch of hens came and filled the empty row in front of me at the interval. “Do you mind?” “No” “We’ll stand up and dance. You’ll have to stand up too or you won’t be able to see.” “Yeah that’s fine.” “You can dance with us if you like?”
It was carnage, and apparently that was quite a tame audience.
I remember the star. I never actually watched his talent show, but it was all anybody was talking about every fucking Monday morning at Guildhall. Steve and I used to sit looking baffled while we waited for Patsy and listened to the enthusiastic chatter from pretty much everyone else about what song they sang and who’s gonna win. Even though I never watched it I still know what he looks like. It was impossible to avoid it even if, like me, you were trying to. It was a big cultural touchpoint for 23 young actors, even ones like me who didn’t really have that dream of being a twirly.
I’m happy to see the show though, now my beloved is working on it. And I like to hear Lou talk about it and them. They’re all lovely people it seems. It makes all the difference when it’s like that. Like with As You Like It recently. Like The Factory. Happy places make good work.
AlBarclay 