I walked into a great big hall in Dulwich at 12:30 this afternoon. To get there I had to make sure Tessy had been correctly fed and medicated – this is an extreme sport. I then had to get myself onto the TRAIN to London. Bergie is too slow for my needs, so he’s having a little seaside break while I make friends with mistress train.
London came and another little train and then a short walk and I was in that hall in Dulwich.
My arrival crossed with a message from Scott. “Are you close?” I had already tried to comfort him this morning with “yes, I am coming to the show and I’ll be there on time”. I’ve literally missed every sodding session recently. Been too busy bringing in much needed hay while the sun shines and the silos are empty.
That hall in Dulwich. I didn’t know who I would see there. But there were eighteen actors there, all standing in small groups talking or running lines, eyes all shining with early adrenaline. Looking around, my heart hurt with joy at the sight of almost all of them (there were some I have never met). These are my people, some have been my people for longer than I’ve been recognisably me. Scotty. We have managed to consistently love each other’s company and work since the last millennium.
It’s so powerful to feel supported in this game. All of us are in the struggle. All of us are happy to work hard with no guarantee of playing the part. All of us are working FOR each other, FOR the game, FOR the love. The Factory. “Rather than rehearse, we train like a football team.” I’m unfit. I haven’t been to training. Some of them are on top form right now. Thankfully I played well enough in my youth that they haven’t put me out to pasture for it – I can keep up but barely. I’ll be down to the gym tomorrow, back on my running routine. Gonna finish learning Cloten and Caius Ligarius. I need a montage of me learning lines, throwing tennis balls, drinking eggs.
Walking into that hall in Dulwich, that very moment… I keep going back to it because it was a moment that struck me hard. I saw all the faces, saw the way they were all working, connecting, playing, listening, loving. I walked in and I remembered a bit of my life I had accidently brushed under the carpet. Thankfully Scott still trusts me and they know I CAN work, I just haven’t had the time to go to sessions.
These are my friends. These are my people. These are the humans who have kept me sane for many years. These semi regular shows, this is potentially coming back and with Cymbeline. We had about 80 audience who got it and played with us and it was glorious, and by the end of the play I was warmed up finally so my choices were better and I remembered how much work it takes to be game ready in this context. And LAURA came!! I haven’t seen her for so long. God I love my work and my friends and my community.
A lot of my passion has been in the stuff we do at The Factory. It’s a truly delightful bunch of humans. And if it carries on like this, Cymbeline is building towards being something truthful and challenging and right for us and the momentum we carry through from years of the rigour and bravery of giving a fuck about that complex balance of the fixed and the flowing. There’ll be plenty more shows this summer. I have to get my finger out my arse though. MONTAGE.
AlBarclay 