Awkward Sexy liars

There are all these books that have been written by shit men to try and encourage other shit men to be even shitter. I think the biggest seller was called The Game. There are websites and platforms supporting this stuff. I think there might even be shitty conferences. It’s all to do with paltry attempts at active manipulation by fish with legs. Boggle eyed creatures, either terrified or incapable of genuine connection.

Legions of unimpressive human males are rote learning atrocious neuro linguistic programming routines in order to persuade themselves they are magically going to become more attractive to women. They have all sorts of acronyms to describe other people. It’s like any other club. The belonging and the placebo effect will sometimes give the underconfident the confidence they need to find acceptance and love.

They’re also getting themselves down the gym,  and working themselves into shape. No bad thing. They’re prioritising making themselves eligible and – but for the active manipulation aspect – good on ’em.

At least they’re healthy as they insert their flaccid personalities into the world of dating.

It’s the gamification that I find most egregious. It’s only an actual game if both people are playing it – which of course is frequently the case too and fun and flirty when it is. But when I see one person playing a game opposite somebody who thinks this is deadly serious because their hormones are screaming “last chance saloon” – it pisses me off. It’s timewasting for ego. It’s irresponsible.

I frequently see these soft spoken hard bodied aliens, trying to “game” conversations, following a strategy mostly designed to exploit “weakness” in others. By “weakness” they usually seem to mean kindness and simplicity.

It’s a numbers game I guess. Occasionally some human will be in the bar wanting to revenge-fuck anybody and one of these geeks will show up. Fair game, bang bang, but he gets to think he’s winning. These dear sweet ninnies are just that to anybody with half a brain, as they try to game their interactions to protect their hearts. But idiots can be useful too. I have no doubt there are tips galore on how to pick up a pick up artist and get a fantastic few weeks out of their wallet. Gamers can get gamed.

The guy I met last night seems to be trying all that self conscious manipulation shit on my friend, who wants it to be true. He’s pretty terrible at it thus far though as she’s suspicious. I find him kind of cute because at least he’s bad at it. Sometimes he just gives up entirely and speaks his text. “I have open hands, see. That means I’m honest.” He genuinely said that to me out of nowhere. All the rest of his conversation felt just as learnt. There was a distinct lack of flow. I felt honour bound to mention it to my friend, who is projecting her need because babies time babies time babies time.

But who am I to advise positively or negatively on who to roll with for babies time? I’ve been more or less deliberately single for years so I can’t really advise on sexytimes generally. The whole area is an anxiety minefield. But I know if I was capable of getting pregnant I’d want to make sure the donor was more than just an awkward sexy liar.

Meanwhile, RESERVOIR!

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Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

3 thoughts on “Awkward Sexy liars”

  1. This seems pretty mean-spirited. Some guys have a hard time in the dating world. They’re trying to do everything they can to gain romantic companionship. I don’t think that’s anything to mock. It’s sad. Desperate men are the real victims of the pick-up artist grift.

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    1. Food for thought and thank you for taking the time. I write daily and quickly and perhaps my awareness of the space between words and intention caused me to use too much perjorative language. I worried a friend was having precious time wasted. But it’s always worth looking at the edges of my thoughts and sometimes I need a mirror held up.

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