We are all completely sober. Four women and I. We are sitting above the village of Falking, at Devil’s Dyke. Incense and simple South American music. Cold but companionable and peaceful.
Earlier today I was swimming in the sea, joyfully smashing my legs against sharp rocks. Now it’s the peace of the hillside and occasional exclamations; “Is that the comet?” “No, it’s another plane.”
The dark is properly closing in. The last rays of the sun are getting lost to the curvature of the earth. We need to find the plough in order to see this comet called Neowise. None of us really know what we are looking for though. But it’s fun trying, and a good coda to a different day. This view of the Dyke makes a difference from London from The Heath. “I’m really happy,” says Lou out of nowhere. Suddenly: “WHAT’S THAT UP THERE??”
It’s another plane. I’m going back to cometwatch though.
We found it. We also had a shitload of shooting stars. Tons of planes. Some satellites. And some UFOs. All in all a good night’s cometwatch. The comet itself, of course, was basically static. And mildly underwhelming compared to some of the other things.
It’s such a clear night, and not too cold either. Still some low level light pollution which doesn’t help with contrast on the comet. But we can see the milky way here. The constellations are clear. It’s good to be out. But my feet are freezing.
I’ve been lying on my back again, on this hill, looking up at the sky, for ages. Last time I did this was in Texas and for nothing like as long but my feet were warmer. When I come to write these portions it destroys my night vision. But fuck me the sky is endless. Good to be reminded of the minuscule proportion of this rock on which we play out all our hopes and dreams and loves and rages. Carl Sagan’s “small blue dot”. There’s me worrying about money which is just a tiny idea in this sea of nonsense invented and named by us to make it easier to communicate and get by, while out there – all this stuff. So much stuff. Endless impossible stuff that we will never ever fully encompass or comprehend. Especially when our feet are cold.
Warm feet again. I’m back at Lou’s. Tea and tarot before bed. It’s her birthday so she gets what she wants. I’m glad to have a car again despite the cops. With any luck the joy of easy mobility will offset the inconvenience of considerably less money. Many of the best things come for free. Good company. Nature. The sea. Ok so food and petrol cost money. But the balance of my joy today, particularly with no booze, has been in simple but lovely things that connect me to the world and to my body.
I’ll sleep well tonight. There are definite advantages to this “fuck all is happening in my industry” vibe. Not that I want it to continue.