Dream stuff and ting

So now my living room has been turned into a really weird studio, with some lights on me and others dedicated to the wall behind me. I have no bedside lamp anymore because it’s needed in here for general wash, and even with it I have to take my dinner jacket off ASAP in the show or it gets computerised into part of the background as it’s black. I need to get some better lights. My mum had a halogen, but I think it’s gone to my sister in law sadly.

I did take delivery of a load of replacement overhead light fittings a couple of days ago as part of the problem is that all of my light fittings have dissolved.

I’ve never fitted such things before and I’m concerned it’ll involve dying, but I THINK I know how to shut the power off in my flat. I’m going to have a go tomorrow in the morning. I’ve been a bit scared of it. I’m either going to learn something or I’m going to blow myself up. But I connected the oven at Christmas and I’m still alive, so hopefully it’ll be a similar application of common sense.

I’m one of the 1% right now. I’m an actor gainfully employed to work in live art. It’s so lovely, but also so jolting. We are all in a room together, we are making together, vibing together, responding to each other. And then I click “leave meeting” and suddenly it’s just me in a silent room surrounded by lights, with a snake in a box and a load of random stuff. We are all teleporting in to do the show, and once it’s over we teleport out and look around and remember that actually we are all just at home surrounded by weird things.

The show itself is plagued by possible pitfalls. We all need to make sure we clear our buffers before starting. Yesterday it was me that got thrown out mid sentence. Today someone else. It’s not preventable. It’s part of the random. Part of the “live”. If one of us gets stuck out we can still make it play, and the creativity involved in covering for the vanish will be a potential source of joy. What we are making is fragile, but it isn’t precious. So if bits get chunked off, hopefully the centre will still hold.

I found it very emotional today, as we stress-tested it with a live audience. I was frequently worrying about props and light sources and Hex and angles, but as this becomes better trodden to me I will be able to observe the audience members who choose to make themselves observable, and that’s a delightful thing. We are all just stuck in our homes, and these people have come to play with us from their homes. We all share an illusion for a while, and then when the revels are ended we all go back to the baseless fabric of the vision, and not a wrack is left behind. We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.


Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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