Beer and fun

The audition is running late. It’s for a commercial so I shouldn’t be surprised about that. I’m up for “bald man”. The van is on a meter. “But you’re not bald,” says the assistant. “Maybe they want options? They’ve seen my photos.”

One actor shows up, takes stock of the backlog, takes himself off the list, and leaves immediately. I persist but a little bit of me envies him. There’s the risk of a parking fine growing ever larger. But these are good folk. I like them. It’s maybe worth walking into that room, I think. But the longer I wait the more my head leaves the room. By the time I go in I am already imaginatively at the van. They’re perfectly lovely in the room but it’s slow. I literally have one word to speak. “What.” That’s it. They roll the camera. They play the scene. I say it with my eyes not with my mouth, rush out of the room, and only realise halfway to my van that I didn’t say the one word I was supposed to say. In a flawless American accent. Ach. Life’s rich tapestry. I’ve got jobs landing all over the place. Someone else can fly to Mexico.

It’s Brian’s birthday drinks now, and we are on the South Bank with a constant trickle of lovely humans. Jack is here. Tom has just shown up, who made Christmas Carol. Nice to have the set.

I haven’t eaten and somewhere in my system is probably still that old weird adrenaline that pumps into your system even for a commercial casting. I didn’t get a parking fine. But if I’m not careful I AM going to get drunk.

So I’ve taken myself off into a little corner, also because I’m freezing cold, but ostensibly to get this down before I’m incomprehensible. I’m wearing very thin shoes and the cold has gone right into my heel bone. I should probably go and buy some chips. But I’ve never been very good at looking after myself and tonight is no time to start making exceptions. Brian is off to Namibia tomorrow for ages. In fact, I think that’s enough for now. I’ll attempt to finish this drunk. Back into the fray!!


A lovely fray to be in. People that make theatre are generally pretty cool people. I’ve had a lovely evening but oh God it’s a Monday night and I’m pretty far gone. Some of us ended up back at the flat plugging into the new VR for a game where whoever is wearing the headset has to defuse a bomb whilst all the drunk people attempt to make sense of a wilfully obscure and difficult bomb disposal manual.. It’s a clever use of this burgeoning technology. Only one person can see the bomb, so you have to communicate very clearly. They’ve named it on the nose – “Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes.”

Now I’m in bed. eBay global shipping program destroyed one of my expensive mugs from the first week of sales and I just found out when the guy lodged a complaint. I guess he doesn’t speak English so can’t talk. I have no idea how this will resolve as, if I refund him they don’t take the blame and it’s their fault… That’s for tomorrow…

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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