I went slow today cus that’s my mandate.
I live in a large house at the moment, without carpets – as my foot found out. I just washed the blood off my gucci slide… Normally there are four people and a dog here, but as with Bella’s place in the woods, I get to encounter it solo which is a treat. I was hoping Lou would be free somehow for country things. But she can’t.
So it is me and a talkative cat. And two lovely rodents.
I’m in an attic room which confuses her as it is usually empty. But we’ve made sense of one another. The first day or so I was worried because they’re doing big building works next door. Didn’t want to lose her. I’m not worried anymore. She comes in at night. She doesn’t sleep with me yet, but actually we had a powernap simultaneously yesterday.
I think my mangled heel isn’t septic. It still hurts.
Everyone wants a conversation. It’s the North. I ate out for the first time with a double breakfast “are you sure you don’t want a triple”. There’s a lovely (queer?) manager who gave me plenty of recommendations. “What do you like?” he asked me. “Old things,” I managed. Then encouraged to elaborate I did with “Like stone circles and hill forts.” He gave me a list.
What a drought it has been. Everything in nature is stressed now. Rain would be amazing. And it is actually pretty green up here compared to Kent. My aunt tells me that in Jersey the grass is crunchy.
I’m gonna keep moving slowly. Food happens for the cat twice a day and she really prefers to be stroked as she eats. The guinea pigs haven’t got a clue what’s going on but they need to be fed. It’s a delightful existence for them but not intellectually challenging. I know from this experience that I’ll never keep one. Unless children suddenly happen in which case they’re almost as good as a hamster to teach kids about death. Really good to get them attached to something that will live a full life and still definitely be dead before they’re ten so you can have the funeral and the conversation and the ritual and it isn’t quite so awful when you inevitably fuck off yourself to Valhalla or back round or wherever you think you’re off to.
You’re gonna leave them at some point. If I was a parent I’d definitely get creatures involved. I love creatures. I don’t seek my own creatures cos they staple you to their name. It’s already hard enough to be truly unfettered. And we all keep making choices that lock us in. Cats I can understand, they aren’t idiots. I’ll never have a dog. I love a shepherd, many of the smart breeds. I’d have a border collie or an alsatian or a runner like a saluki. But my life is way too unpredictable. If I was used to it I could probably come with my dog as part of the package, fingernails, unkempt “this is Seyton”. But I’m easier without.
Meanwhile as I write the votes are being counted. Horrid Nigel resigned in his certain seat and tried to make out like it was him vs the establishment for a by election he triggered, really in order to try and avoid official scrutiny over his vast corruption. “It’s me against the establishment,” he attempted, looking so much like the establishment. He’s surrounded by jokes. “Binface isn’t funny,” I’ve seen as a headline, and yep, that’s the terrible thing. He’s actually a serious candidate. He will never win. But maybe some of the people who can’t see beyond the fear our nige is peddling will start to comprehend how absurd and self serving and pointless he is. Binface or Farage, it won’t affect a thing. Nor will the revolution Farage secretly wants with all the “reform” garbage. It’s just a power grab. To avoid devolving we have to acknowledge the effort and dismiss the angry little child.
