A discovery

In previous posts I know that I stated clearly that there is no world beyond the bedroom. I stand by this statement. Some of you have attempted to discredit this by sending me forged images of other places, or fluffy animals. I am not so much of a fool as to believe your msm narrative. I have only experienced bed. I have watched other people who I admire telling me how there is only bed. There is only bed. And the loo, or “Bathroom” as the sheeple call it… But I made one small error. I said there is no kitchen.

Even geniuses like me can be wrong sometimes. Despite what they told me on the internet, I have made a discovery for you all. There IS a kitchen. So, the world is a tiny bit larger than we thought, but I’m still right. Bed is the centre, of course. Then the bathroom. The things in the bathroom are different from those comforts of bedroom of course. Foreign things happen in Bathroom. It’s wet there, whereas it is only very rarely wet in bed. They make you get wet in Bathroom. Bed is better than foreign wet bathroom. But… Sometimes it is nice to have wet clean warmth from bath, and often it if necessary to make use of the facilities they provide. I can allow Bathroom to continue. It’s close enough to bed. You can still lie down and be warm, even though it’s a different warm. The corridor to the imaginary outside I covered yesterday. I stay away from that door though. We don’t want to challenge what we know to be true. Spend too long looking at that door and you start believing the mainstream narrative that there’s a great big world out there, and you get swept up.

In avoiding the door I stumbled on The Kitchen though. I know I said it didn’t exist, but that doesn’t count now. It’s not that I was wrong. The narrative has changed. Kitchen is very distant from bed. It is not like bed at all in Kitchen. They have no clothes there, just scraps of towel, and it is wet sometimes and hot sometimes but unlike Bathroom they don’t mix their wet and their hot so readily and you can’t lie down and be hot.

They have a machines though with buttons and the buttons make things hot. Despite my terrible fear of the unknown, I pushed some buttons in that distant and foreign place. I made some food warm and consumed it without becoming unwell. Then I pushed a button that exchanges money for general warmth. I don’t know how they do it, but there’s a machine that roars, and when you operate it correctly it empties your bank account, gives all your assets to huge fat stinking liars, and makes the air warmer in the whole world.

Bed room is warmer now. So is Corridor. I have much less money. This is why Kitchen should be avoided. It is a scam.

Living room does not exist and I know this will always be the case.

I streamed made up digitally forged highlights of a cricket team playing a test match in place that isn’t bedroom bathroom or corridor or even kitchen. Obviously it’s a made up place, and it is certain that they were making up the highlights as both of the computerised England opening batsmen got over 100 and we all know they are supposed to get 0, or a duck. One of them was even called “Duck-it”. He didn’t.

I’m too clever to be fooled by anyone who tells me there’s a world beyond this. There is nothing but Bedroom and the distant outlying foreign terroritories I’ve described.

Still, I’m glad of Kitchen. That button has made a difference.

And the boiler packed up.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: