And then the train emerged from the tunnel into grey skies and weight. And then we remembered. This is the place we live in, where the rent breaks our backs. This is the place we live in, where the leaders never knew how to lead. This is our grey home, and we don’t know how much worse it is because it has been happening incrementally. Slowly and inevitably we are having our character snuffed. Incrementally. We are frogs and we are nearly boiled. Many of us are croaking for the heat to be turned up. Even when the arts was being funded the artist would be belittled or infantilised. Belittled by those outside the sphere, infantilised by those within who are still given handouts by the clueless establishment.
“You’re going to Uruguay tomorrow. I’ve got to stay here.”
What a mess. What a total bastard of a mess. Nobody bright wants to live here surely? We are a little crap island and we hate everybody else almost as much as they hate us…
I didn’t get exit stamped. Maybe just because I spoke good French… The woman on the way in seemed pissed off. I hadn’t even thought it was important. But just to go to France? This business of stamping us from the UK? Ach. Brexit is an absolute bollocks and I’m totally thrilled to have had the experience I just had where nobody seemed to give a fuck about me going from place to place. But the woman on the way back into England seemed to be genuinely put out by me not having a stamp. Still, she let me in. And I came in. To this shit.
Time. It’s gonna get worse. The NHS is threadbare after they have unpicked it through deliberate bad calls on how to hire and fire and through general underfunding. A man can walk around his garden, but that money just goes to NHS charities, it doesn’t go to paying the staff. We can’t raise money to pay the staff. We can clap them, but every clap from someone who voted for these fuckers is a double handed slap in the face. We are understaffed in so many sectors, and I had forgotten how slow and unhealthy and lumpish we all are until I got back from my Southern excursion. Are we really going to replace the dynamic people who have fought to get here from all over the place with someone who has never left the town they were born in? People I saw at the terminal and after just felt heavier and slower than any I had seen in France or Spain. We are trapped in a horrid energy right now. We have no choice but to start to radiate what light was have… Well, or just to fuck off to the summer and get paid like I will be. Gonna be hard work. Gonna be joyful. Bring it on.