Ah so, now comes the time when I write about all the things I have done. When I catalogue my remarkable litany of achievements this day. When I share with you some of the high and lofty thought journeys I’ve travelled.
Oh God.
I didn’t put any clothes on until about 4pm.
I was awake, yes. I was reading in bed. Occasionally I made coffee and took it back to bed with me. At about 4pm I got hungry and here was no good food in the house. Still prostrate on my back in my warm sheets I ordered a hamburger on deliveroo. The only reason I put my clothes on is so I could grab it from the delivery guy. Now I’m back where I started, burning a frankincense stick, drinking a little glass of port from the bottle I brought back from São Miguel. It’s good. Sweet. Fruity.
I might read some more comics in a bit. I’ve played Magic the Gathering on my phone. Everybody has boggly eyes today because it’s April Fools Day. I MISSED A TRICK. Yesterday I could’ve written something ridiculous and whimsical. I could do that now instead of cataloguing this totally null day that I’ve achieved. But it would publish on April 2nd and then I’d be the fool.
I feel pretty good for my nonexistent day. Considering the extent to which I’ve been utterly demotivated and uninterested in achieving anything whatsoever, I’m doing quite well at not hating myself. “I’ll probably go through some boxes this evening or something,” I said to Lou on the phone. “Are you just saying that so I don’t give you a hard time for doing nothing?” “Yes.”
Sometimes it’s totally fine to do nothing. I have no children so there’s nothing that needs to eat me to survive. I can just roll from torpor to torpor, watch things move in front of me, occasionally push meat into the hole in my face, answer the phone when it rings…
It’s past midnight now. I honestly have no idea how that happened so quickly. Time flies when you’re doing absolutely nothing. “It’s snowing, it’s snowing,” cried one of my friends this morning. I shuffled to the window, saw no snow, and reassumed the position. Brand new sheets on yesterday. My bed is high and hard and comfy. I have lain therein.
I’ll have to do something tomorrow. But after the week I’ve had, a day like today is tonic. I must have traveled hundreds of miles, and I ran myself hoarse teaching stuff that I care about a bit but that isn’t my primary function.
There’s a WhatsApp group bubbling though for a fun project that I’ve been asked to be in about Bletchley Park. The creative theatre-machine is rattling up out of the swamp and the huge gears are starting to creakily turn again. This will be a short fun thing and then something will follow and something else and something else and I’ll look back on this peaceful day with envy.
For now, it’s back to the port and a good book. Cheers.
AlBarclay 