Tomorrow we have a sharing of Twelfth Night – work in progress. We feel the pressure. I am perhaps feeling less pressure than some because I’ve met the people on the list so far and like all of them. But I’m still feeling pressure. All my paraphrases, all my little moments where I’m not sure what I mean, bits where I’m more involved in logistics than story – all of that will get magnified to me through my perception of how they are viewing it. Thankfully I think this is a lovely show, with a lovely group. I’m happy to put what we have in front of people who know the idiom better than me. I worry we have too much stuff. I worry we are asking for more stuff than we need. But I’m a worrier, and I want this to be great and my worries get in the way, and I know this about myself. I just know we will have shows in venues where there are no chairs possible, and I don’t want us to get stuck in stuff that stops us from looking at the scenes the scenes the scenes. The scenes are paramount. The words between the humans. That’s why we are doing this work.
But we all know it. And that makes it lovely. We are all pulling in the same direction. And our taste is roughly equivalent across the group. And we can all drop everything if we are asked to. It’s gonna be lovely. I can’t wait to go around America with these humans.
Right now I’m in bed. It’s hot. I’m hot. I had a bath. Pickle is lying on my stomach. She likes to do that when I’m blogging like this but it doesn’t make me any colder. She seems to like the heat. She’s purring like a packdrill. I can’t quite believe I’m leaving her and going off to America on Sunday. Good God I’ll miss her. More than anything else. I suspect she’ll miss me too in her feline *I don’t give a fuck about anyone but I like it when he rubs my belly* way.
I haven’t packed. I haven’t emptied my bedroom. I’ll be gone until winter. Saturday is going to be the day I attempt to do literally everything that’s left to do.
I’ve got to drop off some costume to Camden before I leave as well. Stuff that we use for corporate work at the Globe. There are literally not enough hours in the day. I went up to me attic this evening to get it down, swearing copiously as I was hoping to use the time to sew magnets into a bit of felt in order to make a satisfying quick change. It turns out that learning to sew and costume design simultaneously on a rushed hot evening when there’s hundreds of other things to be thinking about – somehow it’s not conducive to my best work. I’ve made something. I’ll make it better over time. That’s what making things is all about anyway. I just have to get the makeshift something through tomorrow without being told to ditch it because it’s not fully realised.