I’m not very good at post audition breakdowns. We’ve already established that. Last week I auditioned for an Iranian hotel manager. I phoned my manager with the usual “they hated me” reaction. Today I recalled in front of the director, who is well known and had flown over from LA. I’m in with a good shot at it. And I genuinely thought it was screwed at the first meeting. Uncharacteristically I had two wildly different meetings today, and I didn’t feel shit after either of them. I’m putting that down to the firm resolution I made on this crazy weekend to be positive towards myself as well as everything else.

I woke up and drove to Baker Street to be positive to someone else though, because I still do that too. I helped them move house. Humping boxes, stuffing the car chock full, lugging bedframes and Hoovers and bags. It seemed like a good first use of my cleansed state. People who move a lot have managed to streamline their stuff so well, though. I found myself envying her for being able to fit her life into a few car loads. I would need a fleet of juggernauts. As quickly as I throw stuff away I accumulate more. It’s pathological. I’m not a proper hoarder, thank God. I’ve seen what that looks like. But I find it hard to let go of stuff. I need Marie Kondo to come into my home and shout at me for a week.

After that it was change into tailcoat and leer at the camera, and then off to Westbourne Park to change into a suit and be creepy in a real-world environment in front of another camera. Something has to land before long. A lot of these meetings have been crap shoots, for commercials etc, but I’ve landed them before, and I’ll do it again. Even my agent got me through a door tomorrow, for a Christmas commercial in the part of “unassuming man in his fifties.” I think I know what that man looks like, and it ain’t me. But glad to be rolling the dice, and maybe they’ll dig the ‘tache, which I have to keep for the possibility of the hotel manager – it’s the most legit job of them all. Commercials pay beautifully, but are not valued terrifically highly. A bit of narrative helps so much. And I’d love it for my showreel.

I also pitched for some voice work through a friend of mine who’s making games in Canada. He’s doing brilliantly and hopefully before the year is out I’ll get to visit him. The game work will be a great use of my new home studio. It could work out very well.

So essentially I’ve been zooming around like I’ve got a rocket up my ass and I feel unfettered by past experience or future unknowns. I am laying this squarely at the feet of the kambo, and am going to keep surfing this wave of positivity for as long as I can. Good to have a strong reset button, even if it does involve huge amounts of puke.

Around all of these meetings, I also had brilliant news from multiple friends. I think I might have inadvertently gone through one of those portals into a reality where stuff goes well for me and for the people I love. I’m planning on staying here as long as I can.

I didn’t think to take any photos again. Here is the kambo-tache combo. “Unassuming man in his fifties…” Ha!


Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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