These hot nights it is hard to motivate, but having been in a rehearsal room all day playing an oppressive man it felt like the right thing to do to tell my agent I could grab her an Edinburgh Festival programme from The Cockpit. As a fringe venue they get a bucket of them.
She’s in Chiswick so I got on a Lime and only realised halfway there that I was in a war with my new phone’s battery. I needed the map to get to the house. I needed battery to end my ride. I had to switch off my phone and guess most of the way and then when it came to end it, my phone died while sending the instruction. Thankfully it must have hit the system as the bike locked. A second later would have cost me a lot of money. Damn we rely too much on our phones.
Esta and I went for a walk and a pair of non alcoholic beverages in her local, and a long needed chew of the fat while a friendly lady behind the bar charged me up. She’s a bloody marvellous agent to me, Esta. I’m so happy to be an actor with no complaints. Loads of people I know bitch about their representation. The industry can be a total fucker but we keep coming back and the longer we can avoid trying to blame people the better. She’s fun and fab and knows what she’s selling.
Now she has an Edinburgh programme and I got to spend time with her – a double win.
And Mighty Spacebeard that programme is HUGE. Face after face. Logo after logo. How the fuck does it work for ANYONE? But yeah… I remember people it DID work for. I mention two of them to Esta, a boy and a girl. “They’re the only reason people still take things there,” she tells me.
It’s kinda tempting even at my age to build something mad and take it there, to be another face in that book, to create something out of hope and chutzpah and sticky back plastic and then watch as maybe you hit something, maybe you just get by, maybe you are desperately flyering in the last week hoping you might just get some of it back with a rush at the end. It’s one of my many stupid ideas bubbling away down there. There are so many. But it’s such an unbelievably roll of the dice. To do it well I would have to pull every fucking favour I have, and to pull those favours I would have to deeply believe in the thing I was making. Anything shy of that would be a crash.
Bedtime soon in this heat though. Tomorrow I’m part of a company where someone else is doing all that horrid production work. I just need to be sure what I’m saying and to able to listen and respond. Bread and butter.
I’ve put nice new sheets on. Gonna see what sleep looks like in this heat. Early alarm. I want to hit tomorrow running.
