Out of the flat and down to the beach, but Brighton is crowded this weekend. Fatboy Slim is playing just down the road from here tonight and the Londoners are down in force. Lou was backstage when he played hundreds and hundreds of thousands in the nineties so she’s professionally over it. “It costs more money to go stand on a beach and watch Fatboy Slim than it does to go to Glyndebourne,” she comments as I’m writing. Because that’s what we did today after a spot of beachy languishing. We went to the opera again darling.
There’s no paddling pool full of ice and beers at Glyndebourne. But it isn’t chaos there either. I’ve been so many times in the last few years. “Are you a fan of the opera then?” asked her friend Simon, this morning, when we met briefly in Café Rust. That was my coffee solution as everywhere else decent had a weekend queue. “No, not particularly to be honest,” I replied. “But I’m learning”.
Ariadne auf Naxos is fucking weird.
“How are they gonna make a whole opera about that?”
I had a Theseus ladybird book as a kid. I loved it. Great illustrations. Clear telling. And I always thought it was a bit weird. There’s Theseus, and he’s stuck in the labyrinth and the daughter of the king basically saves his life cos she fancies him. She gives him string. And a sword. He can track routes in the labyrinth using the string, and he can use the sword for poking into the bad bad maneating bull person thing that lives at the centre. So she runs away with victorious Theseus. Then next page they stop at an island and she goes to wash and Theseus fucks off with his boat and leaves her there on Naxos mostly undressed and sad. “How could Theseus leave that poor mostly undressed attractive young lady? If I were Theseus I’d be making sure that one stays happy.” But he forgets her. Heads off home, forgets to change the sails so his dad chucks himself off a cliff. “Is Theseus a bit of a space case?” “Yes, Lou. I think he is a bit of a space case”. It works out fine for Ariadne. Bacchus finds her and likes it. She ends up with her crown as the Corona Borealis.
For Richard Straus I reckon he wrote a bit of good opera about a sad lady on a desert island falling in love with Bacchus. Then realised he didn’t have enough for a full opera so bulked it up with a frame about two competing entertainments in one night and then hammered in a bit about Circe cos everyone likes Circe. Although I expected pigs when she came up. I was disappointed.
It was fun. It was opening night. They relaxed the rules a few years ago saying that all the men have to go in penguin costume so I wore a natty yellow waistcoat that belonged to a friend’s papa and one of Lou’s blockprints. Lou was in a lovely dress. We looked glam. We ate picnic, got sun, and had culture. All round a great day. If you asked me to sing a tune from it I wouldn’t be able to. But it’s not a musical. And the singers were brilliant, giving their all on a really awkward set.
A terrific day. Culture! I think I must be up to double figures with Glyndebourne…
