Flipping ‘eck. It’s a bit warmer. Come on summer, do the thing we pay you for!
A peaceful day today. Not an easy one to stay sober for. But peaceful.
Lou’s flat in Brighton is a haven and while she was travelling back from Newcastle I was grooming her ridiculously fluffy cat, doing the washing up, and looking out the window.
Last night the rock I had used to prop the window open rolled out the window, down the windowsill, and fell three floors into the street below. I think there might have been a car underneath it, parked illegally on the pavement. I went down this morning to see if I could find it but I couldn’t. Hopefully it didn’t mess up someone’s car. If it did I wonder if they will blame the seagulls.
I grabbed Eggs Benedict at Café Rust which is pricey but they do good coffee and they are close. Then a mission up north to get myself to London for the AGM for AFTLS. That’s the group that tours suitcase Shakespeare all over America and it is a lovely bunch of coconuts. Not a great turnout sadly. Last year there were loads more, but the trains are fucked this weekend and that probably contributed to low attendance. We did business but really it was about going to the pub together. Which is where I struggled.
Booze is such an easy habit and this week hasn’t been the kindest week for news. In fact the last few months have been an absolute shitshow. This is the age I was waiting to get to, you see. “Get to fifty and you’ll never stop working,” they told me. Grumble grumble.
It was nice to go to the pub with theatre friends but dammit I wanted very much to dose up on toxic forgettyjuice. I’m two weeks in now so it’ll take maybe another week until the craving is tiny. Right now though I’m in “just for today” territory – as they say in AA. Not that I’m going to AA. Maybe I should. But I think I’m okay on my own right now frankly. I am such a huge masochist so of course I’m okay on my own. Jeez.
Anyway, nice to see my friends even briefly. Grace is going back out on the next tour and I’m thrilled for her. She’s playing the line of parts I played first time I went out with them.
I’m feeling a bit discombobulated if I’m honest. I’m trying to stay upbeat and all that but I’ve got an early start tomorrow and maybe it’s best I just stop the noise tonight and go sleep.
