Stanmer again then back to the smoke

I’m still off the coffee, and really noticing the extent to which I have been using the caffeine hit to propel me through the day. I’m not so muzzy when I wake up. For a long time, whether or not it was the case, I was persuading myself that I wasn’t much good in the morning until I’d had my coffee. Not a helpful narrative for the mornings where I couldn’t get it. We tell each other stories about ourselves all the time, and sometimes we fight tooth and nail to defend the version of ourself that we’ve made up. I’m fine without coffee in the morning. Maybe a little less wired. Maybe a little more forgetful. But with a bit more time I’ll be able to shape out when it’s a useful stimulus to me. For now I’ll save myself a fortune on the kneejerk “buy a hot drink” impulse. Sometimes three or even four a day at about three quid each. Too much money over time. It’s a huge racket, coffee. Big money beans.

I was woken up by a playful cat. She is usually mildly vexed when I show up at Lou’s and put my feet in the bit of bed that is definitely hers. This morning she shouted at me a little bit and then put her tail in my mouth. I’ll be looking after her for a couple of prolonged periods soon and feeding her medicine so it’s good that she’s getting more physically comfortable around me. She’s very nice to me at the moment though. Lou’s arms are a maze of bite marks.

We went to Stanmer. It’s easy and pleasant. Some Spring flowers but no bluebells yet, and I didn’t dare wear my new boots for a long muddy walk so it was back in the slipperboots and rolling along like a pirate. I bought some juice with the money that I’d normally have blown on coffee. They’ve got a great little juicy place that I first found back in October 2020. Simon is no longer there though. When I asked someone where he was they looked uncomfortable. “He… no he doesn’t work here anymore.” Poor Juicy Simon.

I love these little windows of countryside with Lou. It’s getting easier to do – to buzz up and down to Brighton. I might be getting used to the train before long too. Lou booked her theory test and is going to get on the road. When she gets her wheels it’ll be like Tristan in the micra all over again – I’ll be moonlighting as a driving instructor, remembering my dad’s valuable lessons, and then hours and hours on the back driveway at Eyreton practicing my hill starts. If there’s a car in Brighton already it’ll be too costly to bring down Bergie. They really sting you for parking all week down there. I’ve had more tickets in Brighton this year than in London for the last decade.

But I’m back in the smoke, winding down. Party boats on the Thames. Traffic and wind. Warm bed..mmmm

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: