Connections

Today, something mystic happened.

I was in simultaneous connection with hundreds of actors – possibly thousands but let’s not get too exercised about that idea. Tens of actors YA who have had decades of similar absolute “why was I so certain?” hardship. It’s an American piece of work. It is silent. It’s an advert.

We all looked at an email of things that we had to do. We all re-read it. Some of us called our agents. It came in after working hours yesterday. It is due before working hours tomorrow. Four scenes, painstakingly drawn out. We all variously called our teams together. We all worked a full day to send what was required.

It’s done and I sent a good tape. Oh… wouldn’t it be lovely. But we have to send and forget, send and forget. I cannot be other than what I am. They just got a short film that we made in a day with no budget and no prep. Hey ho. I give no info. I never will. NDA is very familiar to me, and maybe doubly so because I write a daily blog no matter what. I know the lines and observe them. Anyone who worries that’s not possible should look to themselves and have everyone around them look to them.

My team… My God, I am very dear friends with the exact perfect human being for the story I’m supposed to be telling. They only want us to film 4 scenes out of… 5 …. so we don’t have to approximate the whole story…? As the world gets colder and colder and the heating is not something we can take for granted these days, Tristan and I got stuck in. He’s usually scandalised by the notion of junior producers wanting a full feature length audition tape at a minute’s notice, with scant regard for money, time, and the actuality of being an actor/human being. I thought I probably wouldn’t be able to persuade him to help with this one, but I went in hard as he’s a good friend. Turns out he needed me for a short self tape too. Phew. He bought in. He got stuck in. We made a thing. I learnt some very very useful software for self tape on Android. I’m much better now at editing than I was was when I woke up. The clever software engineer people have been making video editing things for the TikTok lot, so you can be completely and utterly useless and thick as shit and the software still makes sense.

Tristan helped me out and he was managing the ill fated St John Chinatown a decade ago when Wes Anderson was regularly eating there with Ralph Fiennes. Anyone who has seen Grand Budapest Hotel and knows Tristan will wonder about the correlation. He would not want me to point it out… but maybe Fiennes is “doing” Tristan in the way that I am known for being good at “doing” him. He was almost certainly the character study. Sad really. Acting right now: A big personality. Encapsulated by the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person the same person etc etc and so on because only a few actors matter etc etc and what the hell about the rest of us? Aaaaaaa you FOOLS

It’s a lottery. Whereby we butterfly our souls across a celluloid and somehow one of us is chosen. We are not chosen to do anything, we are chosen to BE. But we come and we go and we breathe and we grow. There are humans who I love who are absurdly famous and fame happened just as a consequence of what they were interested in and so it immediately became awkward. I’m not interested in attaching. I’m this guy. This… whatever the hell you think of it … this is what I do. It might be attached to sustainable racing, but even that is in balance right now. Humans often need help to know what’s good for them.

I’m off to bed. All will be well. Despite the fools.

So many of us, over the world, told a silly story today. Ting.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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