An award ceremony with expensive hair

Under the Globe. The underglobe. A little hidden space in the heart of bankside, and one I know well now. The shape of it has changed over the years and the way it is run, but it is a good and functioning entertainment space, and they have all sorts of events and ceremonies there. What with the multiplicity of different types of company existing in this country, spaces like this can be booked out semi-constantly for award ceremonies or company birthday parties or end of year celebrations or whatever.

It was awards today. Two photographers, a DJ, a champagne aerialist and me. Loads of guests.

My job was a bit of energy really. I was neat and tidy, in my natty suit. Master of Ceremonies.

Yesterday after work I stopped at what I thought was a barber shop. No price list. I sat down and didn’t ask. Idiot. Shave and a haircut. Two bits? If only. A very softly spoken Iranian man fussed over my topiary for a while, and I got a glass of mineral water. I sensed it was going to be pricey and was bracing myself for a £40 bill. They charged me eighty nine pounds.

So, with the most expensive haircut in the world, I went and earned my crust under The Globe this evening, working for The Swan. I’ll earn more than the haircut but it’s taken a chunk out. At least I can write it off against tax, absurd though that might sound. But I was inclined to feel expensive as a result. I sprayed myself with aftershave and stood on stage with a dickybow on and introduced all the people. A very simple job, essentially just logistics and a tiny bit of extempore energetic talking. Then exit pursued by an invoice.

I’m glad these events seem to be resurfacing. I’m going to need to make some money this year now. One of my happy income streams looks like it might have dried up so it’s back to the drawing board unless oh good God unless this is the year that the acting really pushes up a gradation and I start to see more than a lucky trickle. Come on Spielberg. I’m just here on the end of the phone. 🙂 nobutseriouslyfolks

It’s pretty in the underglobe.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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