Useless cops

Happy Halloween. Samhain. A dark night but a light night. A time to consolidate.

I couldn’t leave the lockup fucked. Just too much of an energetic hangover. So I drove there again in the morning.

The cops are useless. They didn’t send forensics even though the hacksaw the thieves used to cut the lock was neatly placed in the lockup, next to a functional padlock that was taken in the same way from another lockup somewhere near. Fingerprint Bonanza, but they fobbed off my friend with some nonsense like “If it’s just boxes there’s no point us doing our job”. We were the second robbery that night I reckon, and they had enough to carry so were gonna come back for the saw. That’s why it was left in ours and the door was carefully closed. I interrupted their journey, coming when I did. They didn’t know they were finished. Maybe if I’d driven around I would have found them carrying my tools.

The whole lockup was jammed full of forensic opportunities though for anyone who gave a fuck, plus there’s gonna be someone who would like their padlock back when they realise their lockup has been robbed… but “whatever” say the met. 0 fucks given. “Can we avoid doing anything? Yes.”

Just before Halloween, bigger fish for them to fry.

Even just a patrol car to swing by with the lights flashing would at least make them know it was being watched, but they honestly can’t be fucked to do the basics in Camden. People often go back to the crime scene. I’m expecting it, frankly. Still, I tidied up the lockup and I didn’t touch any of the things the thieves had handled, apart from with gloves, you know, in case someone does their job and dusts them. It’s a transformation in there..I can leave it like that…

They’ve pulled a power cable out of the ceiling but it doesn’t look like it’ll cause a fire. They totally ruined the ornate picture frame but it only just came in and I don’t have Christmas Carol this year which would’ve been when it came in handy. Honestly, if my impact drivers hadn’t been there they would have got NOTHING for their effort. As it is they likely got about £50 cash for the pair of them which might be enough to prompt a return visit to see if they missed anything. That’s why I kinda wish the police hadn’t been dogshit. But that’s the Met. Too busy beating up women for peaceful vigils during COVID or generally raping, beating and occasionally murdering people. Cops will be cops, eh? “Join the met. Then you can break the law and do fuck all!”

Lockup tidied, I took people out onto the dark heath and told them stories. Happy times with the Peculiar London brigade. Our last night and a lovely one. I’m exhausted now though. The sheer amount of dust brushed out of that lockup. Fag butts and human skin and piles and piles and piles of absolute shit. It’s all in bags now, but for the dust and butts and goodwill. Books and clothes and paper and oh God, those thieves must have been horrified to find such little reward for their effort. Maybe that’s why they trashed the place. I took the frock coats out, as I like and use them. There’s nothing there now that I would mind them having. I thought of making them a little “Welcome” sign, as they’ll be back I’m sure, undeterred by the complete lack of interest from the cops. And I’ll be in Uruguay.

Nothing in there I don’t mind losing now. But it kinda renders it much more useless knowing I can only put shit into it.

Still there’s a lot of shit in my flat. I’ll get use from it.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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