Thames Water sent me a text message. I shouldn’t have given them my number. They wanted to remind me that, even though there’s been loads of rain over the last few days it “isn’t enough to get river and reservoir levels back to where they need to be” so they are still going ahead with a hosepipe ban in London.

“where they need to be”

Yesterday the rain was so heavy driving home that it was like driving through the sea.

A tropical rain storm. Sure that’s just a day. And of course “after the unprecedented rainfall parts of the Sussex coast are out of bounds for swimming”. So there’s not enough rain to flush for weeks, and then in heavy rain they flush and say “ah we had no choice”.

Since we left the EU, companies have been allowed to dump much more bad water into our rivers and streams. Rules have relaxed about levels of hazardous chemicals they can pump into rivers. Many rivers are now dying and without a steady flow of rain to flush the poison it is getting unmanageable.


A hosepipe ban in London and a very clear push in the national narrative to make us worry about our personal water use and conserve water. I haven’t had a bath for a week. Maybe I’m swept up in it. But… What isn’t being spoken about here?

It looks like Liz Truss is gonna be our shiny new unelected PM. Not to be mistaken for Lynne Truss. Lynne Truss wrote the book “Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.” It’s in most of the loos in most of the villages in most of small town England. If you wanted to, could describe Lynne Truss as a grammar Nazi. She really hates people, using bad commas.

Liz Truss is not related to Lynne. She said recently she will “lift the ban on grammar schools”. With that in mind alongside her political leanings, we could use the same moniker for her. And we all suddenly have to save water even though it’s raining? But… But why?

“Homegrown energy solutions.”

Putin has pulled the plug on Afghanistan oil and is now restricting flow of gas to Europe as he throws the badly trained youth of Russia into the fire in quest of some idea of a long dead past. At every stage, the extra cost has been passed onto the citizens while the fatties baste themselves in money. This won’t change and now they want our water. Why?

“We are conveniently out of all that nasty red tape from Europe.” “Bananas will be the right shape again!” Plus, we can poison our own waterways for easy profit. PLUS… FRACKING!!! She is talking about fracking, openly. She’s going to start pumping millions and millions of gallons of water into shale to bang up gas despite the fact that the water comes up deadly and goes back into the water table highly contaminated. No wonder even the London water board is trying to get us all to worry about water – the latest in this stream of turds we’ve had recently is planning on a wholesale attack on that resource. Ooh I could crush a grape… Things just keep getting worse… I kinda hoped that Covid would cause a recalibration but it has just made them think of us societally as entirely receptive and submissive. How dare our water company text us all on the morning of a day of heavy rain and tell us to be scared about water use when it’s clearly this poundshop Thatcher and her immunity to consequence earmarking all the water for punching poison into the soil so we can crank the heating up all night and weekend in the empty office buildings in Canary Wharf, and so the insanely rich CEOs of companies that should really be redundant in a forward looking society can post record profits and buy another car.

The problem is, most of the people who are talking openly about how we have been and are being misled have also very cleverly been misled too – by that very seductive right wing online community. I would contend that the famous hackers are actually just looking to sew confusion. They pump utter guff into the heads of their acolytes along with the things we really ought to be observing. We are so rooted in binary choices, in being right or being wrong. In the practicalities of control within education then expanded. So we hear the priests and followers of the new religion tell us things we can observe, and then in the next sentence they tell us something obviously made-up. So we, who have critical thinking, dismiss the whole argument because we don’t trust the source. Don’t do that though. There’s stuff we really need to stop being so complacent about, even if that friend of yours who keeps going on about it is using an unforgivably high handed tone and dropping in atrocious words like “sheeple”. Our rivers are dying. Our coastline is poison. And there’s a new idiot about to wear the hat who actively wants to make all of this worse. We have to do something to stop this soon. We have to. The other option is we turn this place into a desert.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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