Tristan put his finger on it yesterday when I explained my inner life to him. I haven’t felt particularly motivated since I got back to London and I’ve been wondering if that’s okay. “Sounds like a post job slump.”
I’ve been in what they call the gig economy for so long I don’t really know any other way. Join a team, work hard, say goodbye, invoice. Join another team. In the gaps between I’ve found a few little solo things, like the workshops about energy. But mostly it’s the old tale of fully on / fully off / fully on / fully off. I’ve been fully off this week. Sometimes you run off the cliff and your legs keep moving for a bit.
It’s not like I’ll be down for long either. Maybe I’m just taking the chance while I can. I already know two of the next gigs. The old happy group The Factory will be back at The Willow Globe on September 10th, just for two shows doing Twelfth Night. I woke up this morning with Malvolio’s letter running in my head – I haven’t been back to the text yet as I’ve only just found out. But it’ll be something of a homecoming – both Twelfth Night and The Willow Globe. I first played Malvolio at drama school. Peter Clough made a lovely version in the studio at Guildhall for a third year show. Many old friends and memories. Scott played Feste, and we still work together all the time with The Factory. I played him again as a last minute replacement for The Original Theatre Company on tour and up to Edinburgh. Then a third time in my first year at Sprite up in Yorkshire – a job over many summers that changed my confidence for the better and really built my skillset and my friendship group. Jack from Christmas Carol was Feste that time. Feste and Malvolio always work closely. I remember that as a beautiful slow happy summer in Yorkshire – the first of many. I’m in touch with many of the company still. Viola is now internationally famous. Funny to think of her at the crossroads. That slow happy summer was the last time I played Malvolio though. I was always too young. When I toured America the year before last, it was as bombastic Toby Belch. Maybe now is a good time to revisit the steward, and find out who he is through me with another decade and a half of life and skill to draw on. Scott will be Feste again. A happy reunion, and some names on the list that make me excited and nostalgic. Friends and colleagues from years ago, and we will all get to reunite in that beautiful theatre made of living Willow out in the Welsh borders. Then the very next day I’ll fly to Chile for another race. So I have to tell myself this, but it’s okay to wind down for a bit. It’s ok.
I had Friday night solo steak night tonight. Rock and roll, baby.
That’s one thing that I’ve carried back from the Mediterranean. An appetite. I never used to have breakfast, but now the fridge is always stocked with yogurt and blueberries. And I’ve been enjoying cooking simple – and not so simple – comfort foods. Sometimes it’s the little things. I’ll have to get stuck in to life a bit more next week though.