Heavy plant moving

Don’t be distracted by the kitten in this photo. The kitten was a tiny part of my morning. Look at the fig tree behind the bed. That’s the main event. Not the kitten. The indoor fig tree. Not the kitten.

There’s another one in the living room that must be fifteen foot tall. Fig tree not kitten you’re doing it again. It bends around the high ceiling and constantly threatens to overbalance. The fig tree does. You’re with me now I think. Thankfully I didn’t have to move the huge tree. I did have to move the one behind me though. And a pear tree. And some more big huge plants in their heavy earthenware pots.

They’ve absolutely ruined the parquet floor with sheer weight over time. Soil and water and twenty years of carelessness.

Marnie lives three doors down from the cat palace. Once I had had my fill of the kitten the kitten the kitten I had to help move those triffids to Marnie’s. She’s a new instructor at Lou’s yoga studio. A happy coincidence that she’s a plant lover, local to the cat palace and free today. It could’ve been a lot worse. I probably would have ended up with Bergman full of plants and then realised he was too heavy to drive. Marnie helped me drag things and haul things and fight things up stairs. We got them there. Finally.

There are cacti in Bergman. I grabbed a few of those because you have to work hard to kill them and they don’t weigh a ton. They are overnighting in the car and I expect they’ll be right at home there in weather like this.

I’ve taken Bergman in for a service with cacti in the back. I’m glad there isn’t a fig tree sticking out the sunroof as they’d look at be strangely. I drove Bergy up to Eastbourne listening to excellent cricket, and I left him with the Nissan people at the official place there. They want all the money for a service and MOT. I’m showing my lack of experience in keeping cars for more than a year here, because my assumption is that the service will involve them changing all the tires and solving all the stuff that will cause him to fail his MOT, and then they’ll pass him. I’m paying hundreds for the damn service. If they fail him – and he will fail in his condition right now – I’m calling shenanigans on the dealership, especially as it means I won’t have time to get him taxed before I go to Sardinia. I could’ve literally bought my usual half decent second hand car for a year with the amount they are going to charge me before they make me pay twice for MOT. Expensive habit, a car. Particularly in this environment with petrol prices just way too high and the oil companies exploiting well meaning indignation to keep them high.

Add to that I had to fill in a DBS application for an acting job… Aaargh.

Now I’m just chilling. Thank the lord. Enough.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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