Zooming around again

My friend returned this morning to the home where I’ve been looking after their little fluffy dog. Me and the lads had hit upon the irresponsible idea of a quick morning fix of Sea of Thieves after a brilliant litany of gaming disasters yesterday. I was trying to multitask. My laptop was open in a darkened room..Wash the dishes, mend the leaks, pack the bag, shoot the sloop, keep an eye on the dog, grab the loot arrr…

I’ve been trying to explain to people the sheer joy of Sea of Thieves. I’ve even been trying to explain it to Lou. You’re pretending to be a cartoon pirate in a very manual computer game. Everything is difficult and easy. With a crew of friends its so much more fun than on your own, plus you get to shout things like “Man the capstan!” We were piloting a Brigantine and conducting a WhatsApp voice call and when my friends returned home we were amazingly not dead, even though we had actually let the damn ship sink by ignoring a leak in favour of swimming for treasure. We were attempting to bury the treasure in a nearby atoll while one of us got a merfolk to teleport them to a random port and try and pilot a new Brigantine back solo. It’s not easy as you’ve got to run round all over the boat to adjust the sails and check the chart and raise the anchor and steer, and that’s before anybody starts shooting holes in you.

I said goodbye to my friends with the game still running, and attempted to pilot Bergman to a coffee shop where I could use wi-fi to help unload the treasure we had somehow not lost. By the time I made it into Banbury though it was all over. So … I got a sausage roll and drove back to London.

I’m funny in other people’s houses. I frequently don’t use the kitchen in digs, but I felt at home enough to do so there. I didn’t use the shower though. Tried to make it work once, failed, decided I’d just be stinky. So my first stop back in London was to run a lovely long hot bath and scrape the man off. Pirates and dogs and writing. I could live like that for about a week. No more. It was an excellent two days though. I got some stuff written, got a tan from all the walking, and laughed harder than I’ve laughed for ages at the absolute insane carnage of three friends trying to be pirates and dying loads.

Post bath, I did another mission, to the cat palace. This is where I am now. From doggie to pussies. One of them is wandering around on top of me trying to establish the best place to be stroked. The other one is in a box. Special delivery.

We had time to zoom in on a friend of Lou in Lewes celebrating her glamorous 70th birthday in her incredible home. It’s a performance space. I really want to do Christmas Carol there. It would go down well in Lewes… …

Tomorrow I’m going to stop entirely. Oh joy.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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