Stealth and a stroke of luck

I feel quite bad for talking to my friend’s landlord with a dictaphone in my pocket. But I thought it might help protect them in some way to get stuff like : “Notice? Oh no. We don’t have a contract so I’m not bothering with notice.” I tried to persuade them that maybe it was worth bearing in mind she’d been there in good standing for two decades. To an extent it might have landed. But with my panorama style bullshit, now we’ve got a recording of the landlord saying some things that we hopefully will never need. It’s excruciating. I was so nervous I was motormouthing. I barely let the landlord get a word in and I just grabbed my stuff and fucked off. But there were a few gems. They’ve accepted that at least they can’t lock me out until after the fifteenth. That’s just two weeks. It’s something. But it won’t be enough time for my friend to come back vaccinated from the best place in the world to a hostile flat in Covid-city. New Zealand has never felt so far away.

I’m a casual landlord and when I needed Kitcat out it took time. I guess a tenant can easily make an eviction process hard if they want to. Kitcat wasn’t trying to make it hard but I still almost ended up driving her to Scotland with her stuff. I don’t want to fuck over my friend’s landlord but I’m much more invested in making sure my friend is dealt with fairly. Impulsively kicking her out with no notice and an aggressive tone is completely wrong.

So I recorded her just in case. It probably won’t stand up in court. It probably won’t come to that. But it’s done.

Then I went home and played with the cat. I got some good work done, if stroking is work. I moved a few things from one place to another as well. I made myself a club sandwich. Work, right? Oh! And…

I decided to have another look for the passport. I had just been in conversation with a friend of mine in America who believes in a magic sky-man. She told me she would ask the magic sky-man to help me find my passport. Half an hour later and my passport was in my hand. It had slipped between backgrounds in my eBay lightbox. Just in time for another self tape, and this one is unheard of. Ladies and gentlemen, I have more than 2 nights to prepare! No lines to learn either. It’s another reaction shot, this one extremely detailed in MCU, and they want a little cry. And if I get it I can fly to wherever they need me to. Thank you, magic sky-man. Praise be.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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