Cat whispering

The reality of a cat is always easier than the idea of a cat.

With all the fragile things in here, with an open topped fish tank up high and a royal python in a tank at ground level, I wasn’t really sure it would be a good idea. But it’s always a good idea to have a cat. I forgot. That’s all.

Pickle exploded into my life and astonished me by not breaking things very much at all. Sure her poo was toxic and was frequently left as a present on one of our beds. But she showed a degree of understanding and sensitivity that surprised me at the time. She never jumped on my altar. She occasionally shredded things. That’s what cats do. But she didn’t break the piles of plates somehow. She was remarkably dainty. She would have ended up with her paws in the fish though – she was extremely good at catching flies and she’d have had a loach out for inspection. I’m not sure The Chairman here can be bothered with fish any more than flies, thankfully. And he still hasn’t met the snake. I’m keeping them apart.

He’s settling in, bless him. He sheds an astronomical amount of hair, and has taken to lying on my pillow when I’m not watching – and when I am. It’s just as well I’m not allergic to cats because he’s a major moulter – apparently it’s the season. My pillow has an extra layer. This is why counterpanes exist. I understand now. He’s calm already though, this little old fellow. He’s made sense of me fairly quickly and we get on swimmingly.

Today he slept on my pillow for pretty much the entire day and now he’s come yowling to me for cuddles. He’s got his arse in my face and he’s dumped a good skipload of fluff all over my jumper. I’ve been trying to get things done but he’s very distracting. It’s a good distracting. But… He very much likes to be brushed and I’m a very inexperienced and hesitant cat brusher. We’ve been muddling along in between me taking shifts on the business of life admin etc etc. I reckon he’ll be thoroughly spoilt by the time my friend manages to get back from Australia.

I’ve moved a little bit forward from where I was yesterday with the multiplicity of stuff that must be done. I very much need to find my bloody passport next though. It’s such a conundrum. The forms I’m filling in need the fucking thing, and what I don’t want right now is the stress of a last minute acting job in Tunisia when I have no idea where the damn thing is. In a dream I put it between two heavy things to flatten it down… Was that a dream? I could ask Mao-Mao for help but he’d just push his head into me and make a noise like a duck. Besides he doesn’t want me going anywhere as he’s just started carving out a happy home with me.

He lets me have my bed back to myself at night. Pretty shortly after the light goes out he drops down with a thump like a sack of potatoes and slips into the wardrobe. He didn’t get much exercise at the cattery, so he’s a bit heavy. I’ve rigged him some cushions in the wardrobe so he can moult on the tails of all my suits in comfort. But right now he’s with me on this chaise making it very hard to ignore him.

It’s taking me forever to write this blog. He is far too cute and soft and fluffy. It’s hard to believe that he’s a predator.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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