I’m still trying to persuade myself that this is hayfever despite the fact that every hour I’m feeling worse than the hour before. It’s not respiratory though. It doesn’t respond to any expectation of this Covid bollocks. Trust me to go and manage to get something else instead. My left eye is leaking like somebody left the tap on and I can’t look at screens which is tricky considering I’m on a break about an hour and a half into a creative zoom for The Tempest, and I’m trying to write this on my phone.

I switched off my laptop video, muted my sound, and have been listening to people being thoughtful and clever while constantly wiping my weeping eye and occasionally swearing roundly. Now I’m writing this as I have a feeling that the more time that goes by the shittier I’m going to feel. Hayfever or cold or just screen-allergy after endless talking faces, who knows. Maybe this is how my immune system interprets this plague of ours. Either way I’m feeling pretty sorry for myself and my head is starting to hurt. Noise is annoying me. It’s hard to think or to look at this phone screen to write. But it’s definitely just hayfever. I just want the noise to stop.

Tickets are live for this Tempest that we’ll be doing. https://www.creationtheatre.co.uk/book-virtual-tempest/  I’ve got time to get over this hayfever before I have to be the king.

It seems that the zoom meeting is back. They’re all talking on the screen again. Normally I don’t feel so misanthropic but I just want to shut all the light off and bury myself with a hot water bottle in clean sheets and quietly mumble to myself.

I’m going to plug back in and do my job. I’ve had a paracetamol which might help.

Oh I’m leaking. This whole current culture of doing everything through a screen is made a great deal harder when the light makes you melt from the inside. Also my sense of smell is not good. This hayfever is worse than usual for march. I kind of want the meeting to be over so I can make a batch of bolognese in case I collapse into a hole overnight. I’ve still got a good pile of food at home so I’m not going to starve if this is the onset of my two week rollercoaster. I guess if this is my version of this bullshit I can tick it off in a fortnight or so, get tested for antibodies, and go do stuff in the real world. But it certainly feels like I’m about to get sick now despite all my precautions. At least I’ve got plenty to read, plenty to eat, plenty to think about. I’m not in the best creative place right now though as the more my eye leaks the more it feels like the tears have been replaced by brainsuet.

This is my rehearsal room today. I can really look at it. Dammit. I hate being sick.

It’s just hayfever it’s just hayfever…


Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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