Smart home

The boiler guy came round in the morning and changed all the remaining parts but then he called me in, with doom in his voice. It’s to do with the water pressure. I now have a number on it. I get 2 litres a minute of cold water through my taps. It’s not enough to top up the boiler properly. He told me that the boiler can’t run.

It can run, and it is running. But now he’s told me that I need to do something about it as any damage taken from it running on empty is likely going to obviate the insurance. The flat is warm again at least.

Some years ago there was a water pumping system put into my block. I was quoted £1,200 to get connected to it, and I declined. Now, a decade later, it seems I can connect to it for the cost of a plumber – although if I were to get my share of the freehold I expect the system cost will be added to the total cost. I am going to connect to it and hopefully that’ll solve that. It’ll just cost me a plumber’s fee.

The guy this morning was decent enough to leave me with a working boiler even though he technically shouldn’t have signed off on the job with it underpressured. Another good guy but it took some pleading and holding my ground. And then Ajaz came in to install a smart meter…

Now I have a little display that tells me exactly how much power I’m using per hour. I’ve been running around switching things on and off and working out what they cost. It’s a lesson. I can really see the difference between incandescent bulbs and fluorescent ones. Now I’m running a bath and I will be able to see precisely how much a bath costs to run. I’m expecting to be unpleasantly surprised, as my power bills have been very high for the last few years. It’ll probably be worth putting a powershower in for the savings alone.

I was meant to go to a market research group tonight. One of those things where you speak your opinions as a consumer to the people working out how to sell a product. The last one I went to was for Lilt and I swear to God they quoted me on the eventual packaging.

I don’t know what this one was for. I arrived way too early, so I sat in the pub round the corner. Better a busy lively place than a sterile silent waiting room. I showed up about ten minutes before the group started, and then someone read out a list that didn’t have my name on it. Everybody went in and a few minutes later they apologised to me. “We book too many people on purpose. You have been randomly selected and you can just go. Here’s £50”.

Well, that’s a result. “Randomly selected” my left testicle, I had “actor” on the form and someone wanted contributing members of society. Nonetheless, I’m very glad of a crisp £50, and I’m home in my expensively warm flat running a £2.00 bath…

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Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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