Even in a short rehearsal process you still go through all the usual stages. Today was the “fuck fuck fuck I’m never going to sustain this” day.
All I’ve got to do is have fun with people under a tree, do a wee spot of scene acting and force noises out of my accordion. I’m hip with the scene acting. Have targets, think on the line, mix it up a bit, stay alive. And I’m hip with the fun under the tree, but I need more content so I can wade through the groups who have no play in their hearts and still be confident and lively. I think I’ll learn some emergency flufftext so when it’s 12 bemused people checking their emails and saying “I’m sure it said we were watching Shakespeare, darling, not playing silly buggers with some crazyman under a tree” I can click into something performative and impressive and leave them happy despite their dead hearts. “Oh yes, we met the king and he did that lovely poem.” I’m even hip with the accordion now. I reckon I’ll be able to play it without my eyes glazing over and my face freezing into a panic rictus. I’ve just got to get my head straight, generate some content, learn some actual Shakespeare and be armed with options. I need to get to the bottom of why my king has gone feral, and what he thinks has happened to everybody else etc etc so I can story it and take people on a little fun journey with me. It’s The Marquis all over again, without the hallucinogenic tea, but with all the gifts of nature, random cyclists, running water, ducks, dogs, nettles and weather. Once I’ve got my head round it it’ll be huge fun. Until I’ve got my head around it …
Thankfully it’s a damn fine company. Kind unusual thoughtful brave humans the lot of them. There’s a lot of fun to be had here and once I find my way out of the other end of the white noise I’ll have it.
Early bed tonight. That’ll help. Also I bought a load of vitamins and a razor so I can make myself feel a little bit less heavy and look a little bit more fresh. I can use this busy summer as a means of accidentally getting fitter if I treat myself well from the outset. So I just had a load of greens and I’ve put myself firmly back on the wagon after walking into a pub after rehearsal and bouncing straight back out of it without ordering a drink. Tick.
Now I’m in bed. It’s still light outside and all the kids are still up.
It’s pleasant being here in Oxford. There’s a bit more actual nature to be found rather than designated areas of nature-like stuff artfully displayed by the kerb. I spent a good few minutes on the way home just watching the bees flitting around and being glad I’m in Oxford . It’s a great town.