Fugue to fine

Yesterday evening I momentarily went into some sort of fugue state. It was really odd. And no I wasn’t cooking meth in the desert. I got the train back and wrote most of yesterday’s blog. Then the train got into Euston and I lost track of myself for a bit. I haven’t had something like that for a while. I walked towards The Arts because Brian is there. He came out and hugged me. He bought me a coffee at Monmouth and understood completely when I repudiated all his attempts to hold a normal conversation. The hug helped me remember my name a bit. But I just wanted to walk.

I eventually got myself home. Having just earned a few hundred I allowed myself to get hot curry with all the spinach on Just Eat. And then I lay there on the sofa groaning like a beached whale until it arrived. I inhaled it, and went to bed at 9. Then I slept until about 4.30, responded to a few messages, and went back to sleep. Basically I slept for about 15 hours, with a brief interlude at half 4. And I feel great for it. I think I needed to drop out for a second, and I had the window. Weird unpredictable shows in the evening, unusual or pressurised day-jobs in the daytime.

This evening 16 actors played Macbeth to 20 audience, in a tiny tiny little church tower in Hornsey. Tiny. We could only use the ground floor.


I love that we have a company that can play fucking Macbeth with that ratio of actor to audience, where the tickets are a tenner and yet everyone is just getting on with it and enjoying it. This huge community of friendly geeks, learning things for the sake of learning. Playing for the sake of playing. And supported by audience who understand that they’re coming to something unusual, and are behind it. Our twenty people tonight were very playful. We deliberately played the bulk of the show in a tiny room with some medieval angels and a trapdoor. I had very little responsibility which was refreshing after my unusual downtime. I didn’t speak a word for the first half, got murdered as one of Macduff’s kids, came back as Menteith, who basically brings some information and is then absorbed into the force that is approaching from without led on by Malcolm, and spent the rest of the time as a slightly more physical minister than usual. My minister liked death.

This is mostly incomprehensible though unless you’ve seen it. It’s lovely and strange, and very well cut. Tomorrow (Friday) I know I’m playing Banquo so I’ll speak more than six lines. But I’m not really bothered if you see it and I’m in small parts. It’s not about that. It’s about the show. It’s about this wonderful community of skilled actors who are still giving up their time because it’s bloody brilliant fun, it’s challenging, and it’s our community. Two of the company were pregnant. One of them very very pregnant.

Three more shows in this mini run. Then a regular pop-up where we can find space. And despite my rather unusual emotional exhaustion thing yesterday, I love it.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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