I felt sad this morning. Sometimes sadness can just hit you. I was walking around with it. I couldn’t shake it. It’s odd how it’s hard to unpick negative emotions. I couldn’t work out why I felt sad. So I just felt sad. And all the sad things jostled for supremacy in my imagination. Sometimes our insecurities can get hold of megaphones and just start riffing to us. And if we’ve been drinking for two consecutive days, it doesn’t occur to us that it might be just a chemical malaise.
I had the good fortune to get a call from Hannah this morning when I was deep in sadness. She is a warrior, and she’s got perspective. With little to no effort she transformed the inside of my head. She then got me to send her a list of ten things I was grateful for. Easiest list I’ve ever made, but an important list to make. How unutterably brilliant to have met someone like her. She’s a healer.
Once, thanks to Hannah, I was done with the self doubt, I met up with my business partner Jack to get a load of spears and axes that had been donated to the Beowulf project by someone I barely know. Thank you Aisleen. She’s another theatre maker and knows enough about how this all works that she knows we’re the right people to say “I’ve got a load of oversized weapons, do you want them?” We went to a self storage locker in Chiswick armed with all the codes, and not knowing what would be there. “Just leave it empty when you’re done.” Ten foot spears and axes is what we found. Lots of them. Somehow we managed to get them in the car. Here’s Jack modelling some of the axes.
Also I got a message from the universe via my friend Jethro, right when I was trying to be sad. Some of you may remember how struck I was by Cosmic Trigger, the psychedelic show he’s in about the life of Robert Anton Wilson. He tells me they have a spot for an actor to play William Burroughs this coming Friday 26th May. They use a different actor every night. I’ve said yes to Friday, so that’s what I’ll be up to, at The Cockpit Theatre. I think I’ll get sent some lines in the next day or so. It’s a very small part, of course considering they shift it every night. As far as I remember, what I say has to do with the significance of the number 23. I could probably riff it if I get nothing as it’s only a small part, but I’ve been youtubing the dude since I got the call and oddly his voice and his look are not far from mine. I have qualities in common with him. It’s fun playing someone real and recent because you can vanish into a youtube hole. Then you have a choice: do an impression, get his point across, or do both. Ideally I want to do both, but I am more concerned here about content than form. Still I am going to be working on my Burroughs voice a lot in the next few days. So, dear reader, if you want to see something beautifully trippy, very different, interesting, fun and strong, WITH ME INVOLVED come this Friday the 26th to Cosmic Trigger. Remember it is 3 hours 45 minutes long and I’ll be on for 5 of them. Remember it is about the beat generation, and hallucinogens. If that still feels okay, COME PLAY. If that doesn’t, don’t. You’ll either love it or you’ll hate it.