Back in the smoke

And it’s London again. Traffic noise from outside the window almost sounding like it’s amplified just as I’m not used to it. Noise noise noise. This city is a constant mess of it. As I write it’s car doors slamming and the nattering of passengers, and the rotor blades of a chinook that might shake the house.

It’s the worst time of year to be in Chelsea, because just a few doors down the oblivious people are looking at garden options. Chelsea Flahhh Show. This week is why my brother has consistently found unusual insects in my flat. A gypsy moth. Various flower beetles. Things that shouldn’t be in Chelsea. They all come in with the displays and stay long beyond their welcome. People like me who frequently drive long distance pull them around in our vehicles and inadvertently disrupt ancient biospheres.

I was supposed to be running a workshop tomorrow but amazingly a recall audition dropped. Acting is always my #1 so I pulled myself from the job. We will actually get to go into the room. There’s a great big ensemble being cast up north and I am in with a shot of being part of it. A community for a while. Something that used to be familiar but COVID helped us forget. A real life audition, instead of curated zoom. I’m a real boy!

It’s barely nine and I’m off to bed. This recall – it was the tape I sent after the party I was working last week. 3am exhausted audition with two shots of Blue Label? Not a habit I want to get into but something maybe worked. Likely it was the being too tired to try and be perfect. You can’t fake that shit.

I’ve been thinking about this possible gig more and more. I’ve discussed it with Lou. For many reasons I think this could be a glory to do. So many years with so few opportunities, largely seizing them when I could. But things have been sparse lately and I’ve hung up so much to still be here. A consistent job over a period of months, doing what I set out to do? And deepening aspects of my craft? Yeah. I’m sold.

I went and saw Michael Frayn pitching his memoirs at Charleston today with Lou. He knew some remarkable people growing up. I think of the slides I stood beside last week, and once again wonder why I so desperately wanted them to accept me. I’m having a delightful time forging my own path.

Sleep calls though. Audition tomorrow in the flesh. Hurrah

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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