Complaining about my hotel room! An unfamiliar feeling.


The bed here is comfortable, at least, but the shower is fucked again. I got home stinking and couldn’t wash. There’s also the issue of being on the ground floor. There’s a guy who walks his pitbull at like 4 in the morning and it always likes to come and have a long sniff at the full length window right by my bed. The owner stands there too and whistles to it. It snuffles companionably, and for a while every day it’s like they’re both in my room while I’m sleeping. Big Uruguayan male and fighting dog. Hanging out with sleeping Al. It comes back periodically throughout the day, but I’m usually out.

Right now as I write he’s there though fucking with the cover for his motorbike which is also just outside my window. That cover will noisily blow at random all night. It’s literally just outside my window and the walls are thin. I’ve got an early pick-up.

There’s no WiFi in the room. I’ve made my peace with that. I’m just gonna invoice for data. But… This evening when I got home and couldn’t shower, I went to reception and they weren’t there. I waited for an hour and then went out to get some food. Then I came back and banged the bell until someone came. I’m not one to complain. I know I’m in South America, and I never had high expectations, but fuck me this place is not living up to my low ones. Google translated me this rant:

la ducha está rota de nuevo. no hay WiFi en la habitación. mi puerta se rompió hoy. Estoy en la planta baja, así que no puedo abrir la ventana. nada funciona. El desayuno comienza a las 9 y siempre me he ido para entonces, así que ni siquiera puedo tomar un plátano. Estoy tratando de ser paciente. pero en serio, ¿no hay mejor habitación aquí en la que pueda quedarme? con una ducha que funcione? Esperé en el vestíbulo durante mucho tiempo para ver si alguien podía ayudarme a arreglar la ducha. Trabajo muchas horas de trabajo manual. No quiero una ducha fría esporádica como si un caballo me estuviera meando encima.
Esto fue reservado a través de mi trabajo. Y creo que este es un maravilloso hotel artístico y el personal, ustedes, son geniales. pero estoy realmente infeliz. Necesito una habitación donde pueda volver a casa, abrir la puerta, lavarme y caminar desnuda y relajada, sin que un perro huela mi ventana... ¿Hay algo que puedas hacer para ayudarme?

Tatiana the receptionist showed up and read it. She made it possible for me to shower in a different room. Now I’m going to sleep with sniffy dog and that noisy motorbike cover, hopefully for the last time. I’m the only guy from the team in this hotel, as far as I can tell. I’m used to flying solo. But I’ve found my breaking point.

Before all that though I welcomed a beautiful sunset, sitting on a beach at the end of the day and watching a tiny little hummingbird clean itself close to me. I was unmoving so it thought I was a tree. The fauna here is very fruitful. Not just the birds – there are some excellent insects and arthropods too, although everyone has suddenly got very exercised about arachnids. Local recluse spiders… Yes they are here in Uruguay in small numbers. Yes they have a necrotic bite. But nah… They ain’t gonna be biting anyone. Warning everybody about them causes general panic about spiders which is never clever. There are some very statuesque rabid wolf spiders around which are completely harmless and get rid of the shit that eats us like horse flies. We all need to manage our panic. Recluse spiders? The clue is in the name folks. They aren’t getting involved. They just hide back in tunnel webs. They rely on their venom and they won’t mistake our big hands for ants.

My temporary hummingbird friend

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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