Kittens in Slough

Sometimes when I’m reading a book and somebody gets tortured (and maybe it’s a genre thing but it happens a great deal) I find myself wondering how I would cope in that chair.

Today I went to the dental hygienist for the first time in my adult life. I had the foresight to dose up with codeine before going in. Even despite that, I would have signed the confession after five minutes if I knew it would make it stop. “Open your mouth wider! Relax your tongue!” I was in some sort of agony rictus. There were hard thick chunks. “Is that bits of tooth?” “No it’s buildup.” She was like a lumberjack in there. She wasn’t going to compromise. She went in with blade and polish. She was alone – I had to hold the suction at one point while she attacked my lower jaw with both hands. I am so glad of the codeine. When I spat I was spitting a disaster. I hope they cleaned up before the next patient because that basin looked like the basin of a serial killer.

Then I had to chew a pipe and motormouth as Dilly for two hours. Zoe’s second show as Mavis, my number two in the cottage. She smashed it again. Lots of talking for me though, and oh how my mouth hurts. Still, it was a fun show. Some genuinely wonderful moments of things coming together. Always a delight, this piece. Good kind talented people working together to make a thing.

I have ended up in Slough tonight. Emergency catsitting. Here for three nights. Gordon Welchman, my second in command at Bletchley, is custodian (with his wife) of two remarkable kittens. They are mostly Siamese and they are some of the most mobile and fun felines I’ve been exposed to for ages. They are bouncy crazy fun Tiggers. I’m immediately in love. I’m gonna look after them in between shows, and be based in Slough. Why the hell not? I get to look after kittens and relax. What’s not to like?

I’m glad to have landed surrounded by kittens after the morning I had. It’s like the universe said “yes, we will cause you pain, but then there will be fun audience and following that, KITTENS!” Audience was super fun today. Kittens are so fluffy. More days like this please, despite the pain. Wahoo… More codeine. Zzz

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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