Negative positive

This morning the little plastic test couldn’t find any Covid in my snot. I’ve been wondering when that would happen. I’ve been trying to keep my usage down with those lateral flow tests as they must be generating tons and tons of plastic waste. But this morning I was very happy to come up negative at last. I might allow myself out of the house tomorrow and I might start plugging back into the world shortly thereafter. It’s been lovely not having to think about anything much at all for a week or more. I’ve enjoyed taking myself out of the running. But maybe its time to plug back in to that old world again now. Maybe…

I’ve been playing The Ashes on the radio as I write. I thought maybe the England squad might just be able to do something half decent. Turns out they can’t. I switched it off. The Aussies are playing skittles again. This is what comes of the world. Disappointment. Bah. I’d be better off watching David Attenborough talk about frogs. David Attenborough and those frogs would be better off in whites playing for England. Although it’s only a matter of time before we lose David…

It was cold in the world today. Proper winter. I found myself shivering in the living room. I don’t even want to think about how much money I’ve spent this week on heating and how much carbon I’ve made. At least I’m warm again now after cranking it. And I have nice things, I guess. This hasn’t been a bad place to isolate. But I did some reading for my tax return today and tracked back over a year of blogs. Hard reading, even at a glance. I was convinced we would be out of lockdown so quickly. None of us could’ve predicted how completely fucked this would all get. There won’t be any more SEISS and nobody can do anything right now in theatre. It’s all shutting again or shut. Our industry is in the pinch, and the government wants us all to retrain in cyber. None of those plastic people have the slightest clue how important it is even to have things as basic as this unpaid daily braindump made possible. Even shit stories are better than no stories at all. I don’t know how we fix this. We have so much ground to cover. We are gonna lose more and more valuable artists right at the start. Nobody comes out of the gate fully formed. The entry level jobs are the ones suffering the most, and they are the ones that are becoming impossible to run.

I might have to find a way to step in and fill some sort of gap… Somehow. It feels like its time to stop watching and waiting and time to start putting things into the arena. I’ve got a few decent ideas. It has to be time to take risks for the good of the audiences everywhere. I’ve got some solid views on company building and how to go about it. I just need a consistent space. The dream. The dream. The dream. A room where I can bring people who haven’t had to pay loads to travel. If only I had that £13 million…

Things are going to be ok. I’ve had a negative and that is a good thing. It’s all about the angle you look at things from.

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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