Dizzy

I woke up this morning dizzy. I keep veering off to the sides when I’m walking. It’s been a couple of months since I had any booze so it’s not that, although I totally feel like I’ve been Christmassing myself. I think it’s probably the diet. I haven’t really worked out how to be mostly vegan and still get iron in my diet. I went to Holland and Barrett and told her I was dizzy. Multivitamins for vegans with tons of iron in them were half price. She also sold me some CBD to drop under my tongue. “It’s helpful for people overcoming addictions,” she told me. But is it not addictive in and of itself? And it’s expensive enough even at half price frankly. She’s trying for a regular customer. Still I got out of that place for under fifteen quid which is nothing short of a miracle.

CBD really is the new Snake Oil. I’ve heard people tell me it’s good for everything. It’s like they cold read you and then try and tell you it’ll fix the thing they think you need to get fixed. But usually the thing I need to get fixed is my cashflow and CBD is very very bad for that unless you’re standing the other side of the counter selling it.

I bought some anyway. It hasn’t helped the dizziness. It’s cannabis for crying out loud, of course it hasn’t helped. It’s kind of amazing that she sold it on that basis, or that I bought it. But maybe it’ll help me turn into a kingfisher, or leap tall buildings in a single bound, or get a good price for the Halcyon Days.

I feel terrible about selling the Halcyon Days suddenly as I found an affectionate note from my doting grandmother. She put it in a Churchill related box, and told me she loved me. Her voice and her memory came crashing through the ages in a sharp reminder of her extremely memorable personality. Black Peg, the scourge of The Folkestone Wrens, going on to terrorise many a dinner party in Jersey before getting out that fucking fortune fish and telling everybody they were fickle. It’s partly her fault I’m an actor. I don’t hold it against her. But I won’t be able to sell that pot now. It’ll sit somewhere full of cufflinks until I go join her for tea and biscuits.

Which hopefully isn’t imminent despite the dizziness. If its not iron deficiency it’s more stored toxins leaving my body. The kambo did a good start, hard flushing all the easy stuff, but persistence is shifting some of the crap that’s buried deep after so many years of creative and joyful self abuse.

And so I took the foot off the gas a bit on the selling. Although the first big load of things will be selling at Tennant’s imminently. They’re all up on the website now, about fifteen different lots, without minimum value yet but that’s to come. I’m very much hoping that they’ll sell well enough – despite the market at the moment – for me to be relaxed about refurbishing this place properly. I’ve been lent a small amount as a starter but it’s not enough to get the full work done so it’s down to the sales this Saturday, augmented by the Halcyon Days – (if I can bear to shift any more of them after connecting with my doting grandma.)