Walking past the pub

Seriously, all I did was walk past a pub. People do that all the time. Ok so it was after a show. But still. I don’t need a gold star. It’s just a wind down drink. It’s not an actual need. Just a habit. Just a crutch. I had a train to catch after all.

Oh ok, I don’t need it. But I WANT a gold star. And sprinkles. Or maybe I just want a drink…

We set out to be efficient tonight. We set out to trim dead time from audience moves etc. As a company we did a sterling job despite some pretty slow punters. We cut about 15 minutes and the audience lost nothing. The show came down early enough for me to rush to the 10.31 train. It cuts about an hour off the journey all said, as the last train stops more and it gets into Paddington after the tubes are done. I’ll be home by half midnight if it goes smoothly. The other guys can raise glasses in The Punter… I’ve got too much on.

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It’s weird having to split my focus. I love The Tempest company so much. I didn’t realise there was that much room in my heart. It’s hard to pull away and walk past that pub though. I want to dance and swim and run and laugh with these humans in the daytime. But my London daytime rehearsals are starting to build joy now too…

The Twelfth Night rehearsal room is a beautiful place to spend time. It’s just four of us at the moment. We lost an actor to sickness which was unutterably shit and heartbreaking. They’ll be alright, I know. But it was a hard start. It feels like a family is emerging though, with the four of us. A fifth will just be the glue, I think.

Jono is an old partner in crime, with a history of jousting and an equal history of adoring one another. Katherine – I’ve been so curious about her having only worked with in bursts – an empath and capable of bringing that into her deep and surprising work – fun and full of heart. Kaffe, new to The Factory and smashing work in that idiom, he trained at the old Guildhall and FUCK ME HE’S GOT THE MUSIC TOO! He’ll be breaking hearts across America for sure. Every time my “time to leave” alarm goes I’m sad to leave that room but excited to get stuck in with The Tempest lot. THEY ARE LEGION and each one a living breathing example of excellent humanity.

Theatre. Yeah so it’s live. Sometimes it’s hard. Always it pumps you with adrenaline. We get addicted to the adrenaline. With my extreme sport dad it’s no surprise I’ve got that addiction. I not only seek the basic kick but I’m always drawn to mediums where it’s going to be harder than the basic kick jobs. “You have to do it ten times and roll with anything the audience brings.” Great for me. Better than “Say it exactly the same every night no matter what.” Mousetrap would break my neck.

I can get bored of obedient audiences. It makes me think I might thrive in standup, but I don’t think I’m funny – I think I’m sad. I used to think that stand-up had to involve humungous ego though. I’m not so sure now. I’ve met some people I have powerful fellow feeling with who do stand-up. But I don’t much like working alone.

I think I want to try to write a show I’ll be involved in when I’m in America. Maybe it’ll involve all those things. Sadness, laughter, anarchy and something that makes it harder for me than it needs to be. But only if it can be all that and about something I think needs to be said. Hmmm. *Thinking cap*