Keeping it varied

I reckon that brand new A-Class would be happy to cruise at 120mph and you wouldn’t even feel it. It’s hungry for speed. It’s a job keeping it at the national limit when it wants to leap forward. Plus it burns virtually no fuel. From what I’m used to its almost impossible to have that sort of economy.

Without any coffee I essentially teleported myself to High Wycombe. The car talks nicely with my phone so I was shouting music requests all the way and getting them through the huge system. It’s London on a Friday so there were plenty of other people heading out, but from time to time the road opened up and I was thoroughly enjoying myself whilst observing the legal speed limit at all times officer.

A morning of pharmaceuticals. Engaging young people with work in the pharmaceutical industry – and why not? My nephew did that industry for a while. I’ve been working with reps from big pharma all morning. They were delightful. If it floats your boat, do it. I’ve benefitted greatly from expensive drugs, so as a consumer I’m happy to point people towards working with the manufacturer, so I did.

On the way back into town I got an emergency call to “work” 5.30 – 7.30 flyering outside Kings Cross. I used to do that a decade or so ago for pretty good money. This was for friends and I said I wouldn’t invoice. They’ve done me proud over the years.

Now they’re building awareness and momentum for a big project. “Wolf of Wall Street – The Immersive Experience.” Tickets are already on sale. They’ve got an installation in Kings Cross, as part of the station complex. I didn’t realise I’d have to have an induction.

I was sent to the Kings Cross Station Contractor’s office, where you have to watch a video and fill in some forms. The video involves actors finding a tupperware with a flashing red LED in it shoved behind a pipe wrapped in what looks like a Harrod’s bag. They lean over this bomb and open it like a Christmas Present “Ooh look, there’s wires” one purrs as if they’re commenting delightedly on someone’s dress on Britain’s Got Talent.

The same fun actors also follow a few suspicious characters around a bit. It’s at strokes amusing, at strokes interesting at strokes dull. I laughed twice and realised that the friendly conversations I have had with conductors over the years – some might have been because someone on the platform had flagged me as behaving suspiciously.

The video is well made for what it is, and the actors are having fun with it which makes it more palatable. Considering everybody has to watch it I’m glad it’s not an alarmist overserious preach of a video with scary music, as you’d expect.

After the video they made the obligatory jokes about my surname and the Bank, before letting me go in order to get over to the Wolf installation and just … be there. They needed someone on site for security. I chose to spend the time giving out flyers. I wanted to freely experiment with what would make people take them. I ended up having a lot of fun, and finding the few people who chose to pretend I didn’t exist merely laughable. I walked along beside a chinless thirty something target audience male for a good long distance talking, simply because he wouldn’t acknowledge my existence at all. He held his head completely still. I found it exasperating, and I felt a mixture of pity and hostility towards his cowardice. But he was in the tiny minority.

The majority of people were delightful and surprisingly playful. I received much more humour and kindness than I got fear and aggression. I also reckon I gave a bunch of good flyers out to people who will buy a ticket to this curious unusual show. I think it’s gonna be a blast. I hope so.


Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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