I miss home. My flat. Brian and I winding down on weekends. Pickle. The view. Being in London. That’s where I seem to have shifted my centre for now. Maybe one day I’ll go home to Jersey or The Isle of Man. But for now, while I’m still in the struggle, London is the epicentre. And frankly I can’t imagine being in a position where I can sod off and live by the sea again between jobs. There are some serious jobs between me and that sort of freedom. I’ll find them. Or they’ll find me. If this industry cracks before my head.

Meanwhile I’ll keep having a ball doing stuff I believe in. This show continues to be a joy. But I’m still on the road. It’s pretty normal to be on the road in this job, living out of a pack. I probably wouldn’t think twice about this time away if it hadn’t come right after my Camino. I’ll probably be doing a lot more touring in the next few years as a direct result of my inability to fall in love again. Men my age often have infants. I can’t predict the next year but I suspect touring theatre will be part of it unless my heart thaws.

Sheffield has been good. Delightful audiences, who get behind the fun of it, and get stuck in. There are occasionally some weirdies, but usually it’s people here to have fun. The weirdies usually get subsumed into the general roar of the crowd.

The audience tonight was lovely, but with three people identifying themselves as coming from The Crucible – the Sheffield theatre that used to be run by our ex Guildhall man Dan Evans. It’s one of the many regional theatres I’ve never auditioned for. Well I’ve auditioned for none of them if I’m honest. I think that’s why I’m still plugging. If you haven’t had the chances, you hold on for them. Anyhow suddenly afterward the show there are these three humans. They were making out like they were in marketing, then saying they were front of house. It was all a little shifty really. They seemed lovely though. I engaged for a while but moved on when I sensed they were holding. Still, they suggested I get in touch when I’m next up. They asked if I was going to work at the Crucible. “Definitely in the next two years,” I told them, with the confidence of someone who has never auditioned for the place and doesn’t even know who the casting director is and can guarantee that the casting director doesn’t know who he is. Unless it was one of those three. My esprit d’escalier was very much an “oh. I bet they are super big at the Crucible.” Still . They had a good show i think. One of them was the Blind Man Buff idiot. Here’s me sneaking an audience photo through the two way mirror as they were coming in… Shameless…


Jack just caught my attention as I sighed long and hard. I’m fed up, it’s undeniable. It’s great to do this job for five years. I love my craft so much. Time to stop feeling shit about it and get more work wider and longer. Or make my own and teach it to sing…

Author: albarclay

This blog is a work of creative writing. Do not mistake it for truth. All opinions are mine and not that of my numerous employers.

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