Geeky gameyweekwnd

Moonrakers. We have started our geek out. It’s board games. Why am I nerding out this weekend?

Lou is in Morocco. An impulse, a cheap holiday.  She’s off on an interesting tip, and she’s only got herself to follow through. I absolutely love her for what it might mean for her possibilities. It came out of the blue. Well done her, I’ve never been to Africa. I know it’s pretty tough for single female travellers. Lou is Lou, she can handle herself. Still it is a question.

Essaoureara, mostly. I’m happy to let her play even if there are online forums saying I should be paying attention to what she does. She’s Lou, she’s fine, she knows what she wants and how to get it.

I’m flat out and it’s almost 4am.. I’ve had to behave like I am ok when things have been strong. Bed is pressing. I’ve been awake shortly three or four times this week. Got to go down.

I’m glad Lou is adventuring. I got to spend time with a friendship group that was largely lost in time. I’m very happy. And absolutely floored. Could try and write clever things but literally can’t keep my eyes open. The last para and more has literally been an effort of will..So many mistakes.. ugh

Sad Cat, sad cat friend

I’m worried about Boo post op, so my concern woke me up at 4:15 with no way of getting back down. Strangely in my dream I was president Flumpsch. The words I woke with were “You think you can impeach me?” Then I remembered I’m just this guy in London. I was completely aware I was in the wrong, completely aware I was untouchable. Full of love for my dream self, utterly convinced I was right in every way and thinking I’m so so clever. I think I genuinely might have wandered unguarded into his energy. Not a good place. I’ve not been paying so much attention lately to where I wander. Maybe my dream self was attempting – succeeding – some kind of “inception.” I learnt many years ago that I’m pretty monstrous in my lucid dreams, to the extent I can talk about it here without concern of attack. People have tried. But this was a lazy dream, a wandering, unguarded. Best step it up.

It’s horrid to think too much about what is happening, what is going to happen. We have to bin these ideas of “left” and “right”. I watched some eejit in Munich make a meal out of some guy who was outside an abortion clinic in the UK “praying” and who had the book thrown at him cus he refused to leave a legal exclusion zone after over an hour of peaceful “mate I’m gonna have to arrest you unless you move 100 metres over there” “I’m praying.” “yeah but I’m gonna lose my job if I don’t arrest you for praying here. It’s a technical thing, but there’s a new law. You just need to move over there.” “I’m praying. Leave me alone you’re invalidating my etc etc.” So this twit made himself an example, with his costs covered of course, just in order that some initialed moron can bring it up as an example of the UK being off track, cus abortion stuff, weirdly that stuff plays big in America. They are still a very young society in so many ways, young in their religion, culturally. Rich teenagers. Abortion obviously isn’t a trigger issue here… Maybe there are some youth being radicalised online over here now and we will go backwards. But… we all need perspective and the guys driving the bus right now are the extension of incels after they’ve got rich and realised some people can be bought. No compassion. Vast fear and distaste for “other”

The machine in America doesn’t care about anything but America, but we might get left behind by them if we don’t lick their balls. Starmer is enough of a toady that we’ll get carried right until we’re dropped. But how can anyone look at this crimepist as he dismantles that hallowed constitution and think anything but that we are about to dive into a hellscsape for anyone “different”? But… this is us now, the UK are swept up in it until we are dropped.

They even dropped craycray Farage, most likely cos Farage is too reasonable for them. Step up Lawrence Fox, maybe? It’s about resources ultimately so … Blumpfk knows things are running out globally on both sides of the Mexican Ocean. He’s banked on the old system hard though. He’s 100 years oldish. He’s old school oilcentric. But … just take a moment to imagine him in kindergarten. Who did the toys belong to? How did he behave when he didn’t get his way? Was he a nice boy?

Nothing changes but everything changes. We have to start paying attention to the little normalisations. There are swathes of people being umbrellaed into some idea of wrong. Balls. Every single individual, including Scklumpff, must be looked at individually. Take expectation out. Take out fear. Find the hearts and see what they value. The polarisation currently is about “humans” vs “safety from other”. The voice that is concerned about the other is prevalent. “Other” is annoyingly subjective, and has been weaponised as such. ‘human” has also been weaponised, weirdly, and the confusion and amplification of said confusion around ‘identity” stuff JUST LET PEOPLE BE WHO THEY ARE, ALL THE NOISE IS NEGATIVE. Have we entrenched too far? I see both sides… I grew up protective, and would likely have remained so had I not been unsubtly given clear messages that I was too brown to be part of the club, with a decorated Spanish grandfather who fought in fucking WW2. FFS, as they say. But, these people are morons. If I got that, what the hell is reserved for people less palatable to these idiots? Cos they still have a voice, amplified in America through this heavy sad dark selfish hunched rough beast his hour come round at last.

Sorry. Shouldn’t let these thoughts in. But I’ve been up since 4. Met my brother for a pint and then I put my fingers down my throat as soon as I got home. My body doesn’t want booze right now. Sleep? Yeah it wants that. I’ll be down shortly, maybe dreaming into a daytime Potus again, I hope not. Poor Boo. She hates that cone. I think a bit of water and a brush of the pegs and I’ll be flat out. Maybe I’ll find Putin this time. What a pair of old fuckers. Could this fuckery be the death throe of the patriarchy? insha’Allah. And I say that partly to piss off the shuttered and partly cos in the end everything is the will of God, whatever name you have for her.

Flogging stuff

I flogged this load of broken glass for a tenner today. It’s beautiful, but totally fucked. The remains of Ben’s mum’s Victorian Venetian glass centerpiece. It’s been in a box for ages, ever since Emma fell over into it and broke it. Emma is the reason it came into my possession anyway, she’s the point of contact between Ben and I. It was a perfect storm when she came round my flat, got smashed, and even though it wasn’t in a thoroughfare, stumbled into it and absolutely ruined something already pretty fucked. Poetry to an extent. Anyone else doing that and I would have held it against them, Emma doing it and yeah fine, that’s like Ben doing it. All I’ve been trying to do anyway is find places for these things where they are loved.

The buyer for all this broken glass, she’s at Morley College. She’s learning to work with glass. She’s offered me a memento piece when she gets done working. I’m up for that, I’ll give it to Ben. This stuff is largely just taking up space now. I want it all shifted. And this is exactly what I’m trying to do, where my obsession meets reality, the movement of energetic things, the connection of once loved items to the people who will love them again, without the nasty mess of greedy resellers marking it up randomly based on their assessment of demand, to try and trick good people into overpaying for what they know that good person wants.

“My sister has been asking about her stuff, what you’ve still got.”

Ages ago on a terrible deal, I took a load of random shit my friend’s sister couldn’t sell and I offered to move it on. I did a nice job of some of it and then when it sold I gave her a vast proportion of what it had sold for. She had employed me over the years for odd jobs etc and at the time it did feel natural to help her, to give stuff back and move energy on. I avoided taking some of the things as she was absolutely convinced that some things she had were worth numbers I could never approach. Like my friend in Battersea I instinctively worried that if I sold it for less than what she thought it was worth it might end up coming back on me.

The stuff that’s left of hers is crap though. And the time it’ll take to list it, if I’m only taking like ten percent, it’s just not worth the hassle so … it sits in a corner and stares at me, reminding me to strike better deals with friends.

One of Rhys’ magic cards didn’t arrive at the buyer. Royal mail have lost it even though it’s tracked. I’m giving him 50% value before postage costs for everything of his I sell and actually with all the admin and rubbish attached that seems right going forward. He keeps telling me to give him 50% AFTER costs but no, I’m happy to meet him there. They are cards. Easy to send. My friend’s sister’s remaining stuff though, it is either big and awkward to post, or electronic and pretty much universally missing important parts without which I can’t assess if it works or not. For 50% going forward it’ll be worth it. I might tell her that’s the deal now or she can have it back, but then it’ll just be in storage forever.

I’m gonna go on a push tomorrow just to get this shit out of my house. eBay corner. I’ll drop her what it goes for and ask her advice about things in her world that she might be able to help me with. Why the hell not? She’s in PR. I’ve got 2 major films and one minor in the edit. Maybe that’s where the worlds align, if I can finally broker a story that gets me more work.

eBay corner, practical things visible

Early to bed early to rise, cats in my head, getting a splice

I’ve been playing with Boo. She’s off to get spayed first thing tomorrow and I still feel bad about it. I’m giving her fun active playtime ahead of the betrayal. She’s oblivious.

For some reason I bounced out of bed at 5 this morning. There was no going back to sleep. Hangover from being on set I guess, they are early days those filming days. I don’t really get how those famous wreckheads pulled it off back in the day. Perhaps they were still awake. Hair and make-up working hard in the mornings, a little spritz of aftershave, Smint? A shot of vodka. Amphetamines. And off we go again.

I went for breakfast at 11 with Dan. Haven’t seen him in ages. A good fish, in the same struggle. We live pretty close to each other. There aren’t that many people in this area these days from my old friendship groups. They’re all a bit further out, often bekidded or working predictable jobs. Not like this pair of lushes having green eggs and bacon on a Tuesday morning and shooting the shit about who is making what where when why and how do we get a slice of the pie and life and old friends and love and all the things all together. Loads of coffee and then fuck it I’ll drive to Heathrow. Helen lands. I pick her up at the terminal. £7.50 on the car park, timed it well, it’s £6.00 these days for a drop off. Crazy.

I wasn’t gonna drive her to Hastings just as I don’t want to live in my car. Just wanted to see her and shoot the shit again. I’m Wile Coyote now, off the cliff again but still running. Trying not to look down. I took her to Sevenoaks. Talked about Tony Robbins, skiing, life … There’s acting and then there’s all the woowoo and then there’s writing and somewhere somehow there’s a way it can all get crammed into a jar together and labelled “My crazy shit” and you can spread it on your toastface or whatever you do with Aljam these days and it’ll make me happy.

For now though the night has caught up with me and even if the day was warm the night is really not and it has made me so tired even if it’s only just nine. That’s the early rise. This is how it happens. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON SLEEP.

I shall sleep soon once more, awaken when the sun shines once again, rise into the light. 

Bed bed bed bed BATH then bad warm bed. And tomorrow morning first thing we do unearthly but necessary things to Boo. Yuk.

Pots for cooking

Well I bought a new set of steaming pans today. They won’t come tomorrow, they’ll come in a few days. From a Britain British Brit English Company from British Britain, not from that America but from English British Albion. AND DID THOSE FEET IN ANCIENT TIMES… Paid more for it too. PAY MORE FOR GOOD BRITISH ENGLAND ITEMS MADE BY OUR OWN SOFT BRITISH HANDS IN THE LAND OF BRIT AND WAS JERUUUSALEM…?

Could’ve got it on that Amazonian for less. I’m trying to pull my money from the American economy, as mentioned yesterday. But it makes me feel like Lee “no perspective outside his own shit” Anderson. Because as soon as I start looking at NOT AMERICA, the logical place to look is to look local. And the voices who have asked us to do that are usually the hatey ones. “and he said ‘I’m a vegetarian.'” (look that video up it’s hilarious. Lee Anderson son vegetarian. Sometimes though people we don’t align with much have moments of shared momentum.

Suddenly this apoplectic orange baddie over the other side of the Mexican Ocean is making us realise we should never have relied on their protection. Why the fuck did we scrap the battleships? Oof. We could end up assimilated into the borg. They’ve got enough weaponry to bury us and we’ve scrapped our own. Christ I’m imagining Dunkin’ Donuts in Trafalgar Square. So is Drumpf, I imagine. New Zealand never looked so tempting as a place to move to, even if Maddy just moved here from there.

But I’ve been on an American set today having a grand old time, observing the effect Hollywood validation has on the individual actor, doing my job to the best of my ability, mixing it up with fascinating artistic Americans working here with a British crew and actors, making a script that is so good I had to wait a few minutes after finishing reading it to stop crying before I rang Lou.

Hollywood is always going to affect the industry, it’s where it started. All the false hierarchical notions, they started there too. Rosebud. We are immune to it here in this country as we know it’s all smoke up the arse but from time to time we can be affected by nonsensical machinations. I had a surprise in the call sheet this morning. “Just look at what’s in front of you and do it. You’re not at school now.” That’s Lou. I was quite discombobulated at first as all my personal stuff rose, after hair and make-up, suddenly a new call sheet, inches before we start. Irrelevant changes in my text to suit notions of hierarchy. Made by good people for suspicious reasons.

I just got on with the job in front of me. Cos Lou’s right. Broke my rhythm as I’ve been drilling the lines. But I should know how they change last minute, I only got the Besson lines two hours before I shot them. Not by any means my first rodeo, even though I need to sort out my online shop front as I never update anything but this blog which is trying to be fun noise, and a decompression zone and is very much not a sales pitch. Maybe it’s time to start “playing the game”… gahhhh

Did my lack of online presence help to make a weird dialogue change a thing? These are the thoughts I’m having. Who gives a fuck? That’s my response to myself. I’m a pro, did what was in front of me, it came out fine when the camera was looking at me. He’ll be editing it as I write this. The guy shoots it, does DOP too, and then edits in the evening while it’s still fresh. Incredible mind. Incredible maker. I’m a lucky fish. Today was overwhelmingly positive. It’s all just detail.

It’s all gonna be fine

I’ve been thinking about America. How could I do other? I’ve tried to do my bit by going into Google and flagging “Gulf of America” as incorrect – it’s the Gulf of Mexico. They’ve compromised with “Gulf of America/Gulf of Mexico” for now. Should we all just start randomly renaming everything? We could call The Atlantic Ocean “Mexico Ocean”. It’s a tiny thing in the scheme of things but this madness seems to be what he meant by Make America Great Again. Make it look juvenile on the world stage. A man his age… And so many ridiculous proclamations and actions in a short space of time.

Trade has been such that the business of boycotting American products requires serious thought and discernment. It’s not easy at all. They are everywhere. But it’s a good start, rather than giving up, to try and try to leave things on the shelves so mister selfimportant rapeychild realises that these things go both ways. Many companies we think are English have long ago been bought by Coca Cola etc. But I’ve been looking for lists as a starting point.

Apparently all of these were always or are now American:

Microsoft
Apple
Google
Amazon
Netflix
Ebay
Uber
Procter & Gamble
Coca-Cola
Kellogg’s
Colgate
Pepsi
Disney
All USA films
TV shows
Facebook
Instagram
WhatsApp
Twitter
Air BnB
Sky
Hotel Chocolat
AmEx
Cadbury
Walkers
Heinz
HP sauce
OXO
Batchelor’s
Hartley’s Jam
Kraft
Mondelez (Eg Terry’s chocolate orange)
Asda (Walmart)

I copy pasted that from mumsnet (UK company) and it is not by any means exhaustive but… it’s a very good illustration of how impossible it would be to stop using American overnight. WordPress is American for starters so I’d have to stop this blog or migrate it. I’m working on a USA job at the mo and I’m going into work for absolute certain and working hard. But like the vegetarians wearing leather, doing something is better than doing nothing so I’m gonna try and exercise discernment until this calms down. Arrogance pisses me off, even if it is founded.

Ecosia is a German search engine. Environmentally minded too. Citymapper is British and it’s brilliant.

I think the west as we know it though is doomed by this man and his idiocy.

For us in the UK it’s nothing compared to Gaza and Ukraine. There’ll be a lot of him making enemies in the process of seeking this lost sense of American greatness. He’ll be promoting the lives of people who look like him. Putin will be waiting to clean up afterwards, and Iran and China, the traditional enemies. And now we are gonna regret scrapping those ships. He’ll try and finish the NHS health insurance takeover the Tories started. And he might have an itchy finger.

Get your iodine in, to raise your chances if you aren’t in the blast radius. Flood your thyroid with it when you see the mushroom cloud.

The next few months are gonna be really weird internationally as he throws his weight around, and he can do it – he’s got the numbers. Terrifying. I’m just gonna get on with my job. It’s all gonna be fine.

la la la la la

Catzzzz

Back home, just a quarter past nine and Misty and I are in bed. I’ll be back filming on Monday, just need to make myself mad repeating things all day tomorrow and job’s a good’un. What a lovely unusual break I’ve had with Lou, right in the middle of this lovely little job with people we’ve heard of. It’s so odd, the scale of “known”. I guess I’m “known” now in some circles. I spoke to a close friend and named my scenepartner in this and she immediately knew who that actor was. I haven’t been watching the right things mayhaps. I’m trying to raise my watch so I can balance when I meet the makers. But there’s too much for me to have seen it all and I missed the stuff she’s in and there’s not enough time in the day to make shit and also consume all the shit other people make. I’m happy to generate and keep an eye on it enough that I’m not out of whack with the prevalent styles.

Sad to leave Brighton. Sad to leave Lou. I burnt it back up to the catflat, to find grumpy creatures howling for grub. They’ve both eaten. I was woken up in Brighton at 4 by a stroppy cat. Brian had Boo wired up to an auto feeder and it was golden. Now she understands the correlation between people and food, as Misty has a daily feed routine. We will have to dump the gravity feeder before long now, and just replenish wet and dry for her, and she is never going to be anything other than vocal about it all.

I’m up for it. We now have two great cats. Boo is just generally very opinionated. “She’ll be better once she’s done,” I’m told, and my whole discomfort about what we have done to cats rides to the front. Evolution has had nothing to do with cats since we domesticated them. The gene pool has been arbitrated and many of the variants that have got this far have got hideous issues that only manifest if we don’t cut their bollocks off / seal them up. “It’s kinder to spay,” and it is, now, because our cats aren’t viable when real, and we don’t want them to be unmanageable anyway so we convince ourselves its for their own good rather than just our convenience as we don’t want to be kept up all night by. yowling.

I’m going to lie in my puddle of cats mumbling lines to myself.

This is delightful nonsense that we do.

Valentine’s drive

Good good good. The mystery shop holiday with the cast of Cocoon already feels like a strange dream. There was a possibility I wasn’t gonna be able to make it around the filming so I’m glad it worked out. We woke up this morning and straight down into the spa for a steam. It’s dry up there – they superheat it all for the OAPs. I wanted to be in wet heat for a change.

Checked out in the morning, but stayed on site to pirate WiFi while Lou filled all her forms in. I loaded up envelopes and sent them all over the place, shifting more Magic cards, turning them into money. We finished at more or less the same time and then it was our wondrous Valentine’s Day four hour drive to Brighton.

Three hours non stop I can do without issues but after that I like to zone out into something academic or philosophical so I can compute the roads without my noisy brain getting involved. With a decent podcast I can then get lost for another four or five hours, but you can’t really do that with a passenger so I just got a bit impatient and scratchy. Still we made it to Brighton pretty well despite the God awful Friday night traffic on the M25. I dropped a pack of magic cards with some guy in Brighton up at Seven Dials. He had given me excellent instructions on how to get in. Sometimes things just align. It’s nice having the eBay ticking over and will continue to be so until some fucker finds something to moan about.

Back up to London tomorrow but for now it is Brighton and the things of Brighton. So we bought a hot Thai meal from Kemp Thai – they actually do it how it should be, rather than just let it see the chilli. It’s HOT. I’m writing this while I digest, thinking I’ve just had a weekend and now it’s the weekend. I’ll be into my lines again tomorrow, just drilling drilling drilling. Never waste a shot flubbing. It’s not shot on film as it turns out – duelling cameras and digital. A touch less pressure, but turning over fast. Teams of people helping change the lens etc, all very much run by one incredible fellow you’ve heard of. He doesn’t give acting notes much… Like some theatre directors I love, half the battle is in the casting and then, if you don’t get any notes you can just assume you’re in the right ballpark. Notes’ll just be tweaks, unless you’re getting them all the time in which case you’re either doing something you need not do, or you’re you’re standing in the wrong place.

But… Brighton means cosy warm fabrics and low light. I’m gonna sink into this and think about all the filmy related joys and concerns later on. Should be asleep by ten. zzzz

definitely didn’t ask midjourney for the sock crab that plays accordion to the dead

Pensioner day

Last time I was in this part of the country I spent two days jumping into the heart of the universe and pulling myself apart for examination and reconstruction before yarking heavily into a white bucket, washing the thing out, and starting again. I was sleeping on the floor. People were playing tribal instruments and singing vaceros.

Now I’m surrounded by old folk in a stately home crossed with a Toby Carvery.

We just left the musical extravaganza. It’s hard to watch performers who don’t care. The warm up act was a pro, a kind woman, working for and with what might be a disheartening audience if you’re just in for the validation. She gave it her all and really added to the joy. The main act were younger and there’s this thing when you’re young when you kinda need some sort of validation. Once you’re secure in your craft it goes, but these guys had switched out from caring after one too many sleepy audiences. Even with the two of us in the room I kid you not but the average age there was well over seventy. They aren’t gonna be howling for joy, especially after nine at night when happy hour starts mid afternoon.

In other places here, people really give their all. Our neighbour at dinner recommended a multi instrumentalist. He was playing in the ballroom and was greatly skilled, mature in his craft and humble, sharing his passion with us. The whole day can be full if you want it to be. ‘It’s like after retirement you can be a child again,” Lou says.”Make friends, do activities, eat too much, sleep lots.” It’s true. And mere oblivion. Sans teeth sans eyes sans taste sans everything. But let’s have fun on the way down.

It has been a very curious experience. We stick out like sore thumbs. Everyone is lovely. These are the part of their generation who still gets out and does stuff. “He can’t hear a thing, but he’s always at it, can’t sit still, can’t stop moving,” says our neighbour of her ninety year old companion. “I used to do long walks,” he shouts to me. “So do I, the longest ones I can find,” I shout back. “Oh, yes,” he smiles and nods, having heard nothing whatsoever. “Oh yes. Yes I like long walks.” Her second husband died less than a year ago. Getting old is hard if you manage it.

It’s the immersive pensioner experience in having here. Someone’ll run it in a building in London some time, charge everyone £200 quid, give ’em a bit of dry chicken on good plates and then pay someone like me to shout at them for a bit before blowing a bit of smoke at them and singing a song. This is better. And there’s more meringue.

I’ve eaten so much though. Buffet, innit. Three courses. My side of the bed is nearest the bathroom.

Huge windows but it’s boiling in here. Gotta keep them warm. One more night in this humungous suite and then it’s the real world again and I think we will both remember that we aren’t in our eighties.

For now though, bed before eleven.

An unexpected suite

Well this is all change. Lou met me this morning at Sloane Square. I picked her up in Bergman and we drove three hours west.

She’s mystery shopping for a hotel. We get to spend two nights here and participate in … activities.

Right now she’s writing up her first day report. It is of course exhaustive and will take her a while so I thought I would lie here in this four poster and synchronise work.

You have to have some sort of customer interaction. Lou can’t sleep with noise and there’s a boiler next to our first room. They’ve moved us to a suite. The noise is much the same but it’s vast so I think we’ll get over it. “They might have identified us as mystery shoppers,” Lou intuits. We are twenty years younger than everyone else, we are doing all the activities and taking loads of photos, eating varied meals, asking for toothpicks and cotton buds and chamomile tea. We’ve told them we are from London and Brighton which is miles away from their catchment. I reckon they’re onto us but that’s ok. They still horlixed a drinks order twice, but I don’t think she’s gonna be tough on them as they are evidently working hard and seem to be a genuinely friendly team of local young men and women, probably funding degrees and whatnot. We had a great meal, we have an even better room, we’re on our holidays.

I shoot left handed. Always have. Don’t know why. Turns out I do archery left handed too. They had a Southpaw bow though so I used that. They’ve thought it through. We aren’t the first mystery shoppers. I reckon with a bit of practice I could sort my aim out on the old bending yew. I’ve always been an excellent shot so long as they don’t make me hold the gun the wrong way round. I tried the bow right handed and it’s just the same with a rifle, it somehow just doesn’t actually make sense at all that way round. Right arm forward but right eye for aim.

What incredible luxury that we get to be here together and behave like we are happy pensioners. The two people we met in the steam room were friends from a local church, seemingly on a date. They do bible study. Separate rooms. Seventies plus. He sings all the time, under his breath. I picked out some words. “attendant devotion” rhymed with “deep as the ocean”. That combination of buzzwords and mawkish sincerity. I used to love all those jolly charismatic Christian songs. Nice young men and women with guitars, maybe a tambourine. Absolutely no nuance. Tunes that would have made Bach throw you out of bed. But they catch in the head. He’s probably not aware he’s doing it. “Dum dim de love de lamb doo shining ping de perfect sacrifice la de ping immaculate bong de drives away badoobie forever.” And then you die and instead of like heaven and hell and all that it’s, I dunno, a crab with socks on playing the accordion. You’re only gonna be disappointed, but all the organised games of “guess what’s out there,” they pass the time.

We’ve eaten so many eighties things. Fish pie, prawn cocktail, ham and cheese toasty, Eton Mess, bad coffee…

The bathroom here is astonishing. Low light and it just feels luxurious. How the hell am in a suite the size of my flat for two nights? I’ll get over it. It’s the new swindle. Make them think you’re mystery shoppers by coming in the low season when you’re not the target demographic and then being awkward fuckers. Win. But for the fact we actually ARE this time and have to do some work too.