Knowing the axe was about to fall, Lou and I deliberately have spent two days just existing, no pressure, down in kemptown with the sea and Tessy. I know she’s about to go into a high pressure work environment with mister lookatmework in charge.
I’m feeling absolutely zen now. My agent has done their thing and brilliantly got me a very apposite meeting. It’s a tape but I totally hear it in my voice. Last night Lou and I spun through the director’s back catalogue. This is an American casting director, I’m willing to drop this one at the feet of my agent. Yay for Esta.
Might be a fair few people in the mix, but actually I’m right for it so it is one of those chilled ones where I can just show me being right for it and they can deal with the old agent-politics. There’s a layer where the actor either gets the job cos they’re with the right agency even though they’re miscast, or they don’t get it despite being perfect because darling you just HAVE to cast Bumply, and I know you want Faceface McGee. I’ll give you Faceface for the lead, and I know Bumply will be terrible under pressure but I’m going to make you sling your weight around and baffle everyone creatively in the name of convenience. None of that crap here.
I’m in bed and it is barely nine. Got no reason to stay up. Lou just took off. I’ve got stuff to learn. The world has kicked back in. I’ve loved my night by the sea. Lou and I quite often go to sleep by 9pm. It is ten past nine. I’m going to bed. Sure, that’s way too early. This is the new Al, who went on tour with a bunch of people twenty years his junior, and his only major insecurity was not to do with being unable to keep up – it was to do with being judged conversationally when he was bringing up friends of his who have made an impact in one way or other. I really want them to revisit that crap in twenty years time when they are my age. Yes, I call the Google voice Fiona. It’s funny. I’m not doing it to show off, I barely know her, through Fitzrovia Radio Hour, etc etc etc. It’s funny to have a name , but I heard that being received like I was trying to drop a name CLANG. We are surrounded by friends here and all of us do things from time to time that gain traction. But these guys are all right at the start of their career. In five years time they’ll all either have surprisefamous friends, be surprisefamous, or have quit the industry.
The times I have felt most isolated on tour from the lovely group I’ve been working with have been when I’ve used an example from my life that has sounded like bragging. These people are still at the beginning of their journey. They are still maybe carrying the necessary mistake that recognisability is talent. This profession sells the most tickets if we can flog the idea that there are special people. And we are of the special! Be impressed by us as we apply our special to these tales of the mundane. Be inspired. Bleech.
Some people I know are doing really very extremely yowza well. I don’t mention most of them because I’m not very well integrated into the notional meritocracies that have sprung up around this business of telling stories. Just because friends have been allowed to do well doesn’t make me feel special, it just makes me curious about their journey to that in a way that I’ll bring them up to people getting started. But… I’ve been “the justice” in a cast full of lovers and soldiers, and none of them have been able to see “the bubble reputation” from the outside because they are all still “in the cannon’s mouth.”
Hindsight is 20/20. Perspective is tough. I love these guys I’ve been working with.
I’m too tired to cap my argument. That’ll do. The thrust is intact.
AlBarclay 