Well then. I just got my first ever Notice of Intended Prosecution. Apparently I was going at 37 in a 30 zone. It was just after picking up my car from Gatwick after getting back from Scotland. I remember the flashes – hoped I would get lucky but not so. Christmas is coming. Those donuts don’t buy themselves. I’m going to have to dance through my first ever “And we all acknowledge that the thing is an important thing?” “Yes, we do. We acknowledge it. We are bad and will do better.” And I’ll only get to do that if I’m lucky. When I didn’t realise I wasn’t insured they threw the fucking book at me. They’ll choose whether I get to do my first ever course.
They are stepping up enforcement at the moment. The price of beer is up you see. All the little misdemeanours are suddenly resulting in letters. I’ve had a clean slate for years and suddenly this month a deluge. I haven’t changed so I can only assume that they have. It certainly seems that way. I’ll have to do an admin and once I’ve done it they will decide if it is straight to car insurance hell (please God no) or if it is gonna be funtime with being told I’m a baddie. “If you hit me at twenty there’s a strong chance I’ve got a baby voice.”
Max was round when I discovered it. “Oh I had one of those the other day,” he told me. Good older brother work, experiencing the thing first and telling me about it. Helps me realise it goes with the territory. Cars are expensive. They are deliberately making them more so. Tax tax tax.
7mph is the difference between a thing and a thing. Had there been someone in camouflage waiting to throw an unwanted child into that empty quiet fast straight road near the great big car park in Gatwick Airport, I might have hurt it a touch more had it been a good throw. I’m sure that’s the eventuality they placed the camera for, people hurling people into a clearly empty road. It’s not just a trap for tired people who have just got off a plane and are trying to demist the windows. That would make them a bunch of absolute fuckers. And they aren’t. They are good people upholding the law, and they deserve the occasional pint with their donut.
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I’m into Thriller with my listening project. Watched the John Landis video today. Man, Michael Jackson was the king of pop. But maybe it is his baby throwing tendencies that caused the cops to choose that quiet straight empty road for their trap. He could have been there I guess, armed with an innocent child, just waiting for someone. “If you hit me at 37 there’s a high chance I am trying to make you feel guilty.”
AlBarclay 