A big day today, in terms of the future material here on this blog. I met some lovely people in a delightful context. A touring Shakespeare with workshops.
I really desperately wanted to have the “Education” role, so I had to rein myself in when it was appointed elsewhere by the American wing without my being able to affect it. (There are five admin roles, everyone has one, normally there’s some discussion but that one is always arbitrated. I actually thought I was a shoe-in as I had the sense I might be the only alumnus. Turns out there are three of us.)
There’s this company I love. We go and do Shakespeare in America and we run workshops out there. I discovered last time that I’m very good at managing interpersonal dynamics, and much of that particular education role plays deeply to my strength, of coping with other people’s stuff etc. But… for that exact reason I can handle disappointment.
I’ve ended up being the self appointed travel monitor – all other roles were self appointed. I’ll be making sure we don’t miss the flights. I had to fly home from boarding school so I’m not worried. There are five roles in total and the only one I actively didn’t want was the blog. I can’t. I’m doing this for you, for me, for who? I’d just spend my whole time recording things if I did that too, and you have to be doing things to have things to say you’ve been doing. I’m sad it wasn’t up for debate, that education role I wanted, but insha’Allah. I’m well travelled. I know I’m not gonna be stressed out by that travel role. But just… I’m just sad. I had an idea how it was all gonna go this time based on last time, which was so delightful. Plus I thought I’d nailed that role last time. Pah.
It’s a lovely mad short tour anyway. The person covering the role I want – they went to Cambridge uni. They’re very organised…
Either way. I’m not gonna get tangled up in it. It’s not like I’m a stranger to disappointment.
It’ll be delightful and now I’m thinking it might be interesting to see what all five of the roles feel like from the inside. I’ll learn “travel” this time. This is a friendship group, this company, and it has been at the heart of many many very happy times in my life, with more to come. I can’t get sad over job roles. They asked me to come on tour with them. That’s enough.
The next month I’m just gonna have to learn my lines very very hard, we all will. This is a busy busy time going forward. I’m game. And less answerable. Muhahahaha
AlBarclay 