It’s good to be back home. It’s strange, but it’s good. This town is busy, it’s vibrant, it’s full of shit. I drove in with the morning.
Cats cats everywhere and after an initial shyness they were mobbing me for strokes. What am I right now but an accessory for the felines? I have been trying to establish what I am by catching up with admin. It seems I now lead workshops for children about Shakespeare, but the stuff I used to do about lisping Tarquin and Cameron lost in the woods – that has gone the way of all flesh. Honestly that’s a mercy. I had to play one of the worst videos ever known to a bunch of year 10 and then afterwards had to teach a workshop clearly designed by a committee of fifty year old men who work in offices. They all went to private school and so they think nothing of asking for vast amounts of colour printouts, and all sorts of unnecessary materials, and it was all done without an eye to what real schools are like. It would have played very well at Harrow, but they were after Ark Walworth. So yeah, one thing goes bye bye – (I think they lost the client, no fault of mine) – and something new comes in and now I get to corral American students who don’t give much of a fuck about Shakespeare. “So, who knows a line of Shakespeare!” *Tumbleweed*.
It’s important – nay vital – to find ways to tick over between the jobs. Drop the dayjob ball too long and the career ball drops with it in this game. I’m still riding high, but I’m starting to think about the passage of time, and I need to have my basic needs met. And God help me I’m still as ambitious and hopeful as I was in my twenties. Gotta stay flexible and positive for those good opportunities when they come. I didn’t have babies when it was the age, I wanted to, but my momentum never allowed it, I never got close to a time where I felt I could take my focus off the ball. I’m sad about it, but the plus side is I can still be immediate and responsive, yah? What’s gained, what’s lost? I dunno. Gotta have something to be responsive TO. I’m sad about it sometimes.
This job is a hiding. All will be well. This… this has been an excellent year. Almost impossibly good. I can only keep the faith, keep space, keep working. And keep the dayjobs ticking over.
Urgh.
AlBarclay 