I recently reconnected with Wendy Alnutt. She’s 78. She taught us movement at Guildhall. I know her age because we fell into a conversation about agents that I’ve had a million times with actors much younger than me so I looked her up. She could be 60. That’s a daily practice. I’ve got some catching up to do.
The first time my back went like this I was about 23 and at Guildhall. I reached over to switch a light on in the morning and AGONY for a month.
It happened again in 2019 during a run of Christmas Carol. This time of year. For about a month I could only sleep on my left hand side.
Wendy taught us all “movement”. Generally that means control and understanding of the body. When I first trapped this nerve I was in daily movement and wasn’t going to let pain stop me. I learnt that moving through it, rolling it etc is the best way. Plus heat.
This morning I could barely put my socks on. I put on laceless boots. Trousers and pants weren’t easy either. It wasn’t a lack of mobility, it was a pain spasm. I’ve got people who will bring me tramadol faster than a pizza if I want it, but I prefer with this sort of pain to know it and work through it, and get to the source and prevent it. Last time it was a tiny repeated action I was taking as Scrooge. This time, I think I might have given myself laptop injury with the tax stuff. Too many hours over a screen. Precious boy was never meant to work in an office.
So I carefully and gingerly got myself onto the floor and into Alexander Technique position. Stayed there ages. Tried turning my head, lifting feet. Gradually very gradually moved through the spasm side and then the other side. After hours I was able to swing my arms, roll my shoulders. The hardest position was child, usually the easiest. Eventually after some very careful dog I could get there so so slowly. I stayed there some time. Back to dog, back to child. Eventually I was on my feet again, still in agony and definitely not able to pick things up from the floor. The doorbell rang. DPS with a car battery for Bergman. The heaviest thing, just outside the front door, on the floor.
I practiced spinal rolls. “Let the weight of the head lead you, bend the knees, no tension in the back of the neck.” Impossible almost immediately, but with breathing and care after about half an hour I could bend down enough to push the battery into the flat. Couldn’t pick it up though. Couldn’t close the door. Eventually had to ask the caretaker to get it in enough that I could close the door around it.
I know my body now thank god. I’ve been rolling and moving it since I realised I fucked it. Gonna try for a sauna tomorrow. Just got out the bath. Blanket is on, gonna do some bed yoga. Then I’ll try and sleep in a safe manner. It’s only pain, thankfully. But these things respond best to quick attention and change of habit. I need my easy movement. Can’t spend my life on opiates. I’m too habitual.
Post bath I just sneezed and it wasn’t complete agony, so I’m gonna go back into child and then see where the pain has hidden so I can chase it before it sets.
AlBarclay 