Bread

Up naturally at 5, who even am I? I even fixed a couple of things around the house. Sure, I also logged in and cast Command: Drop on some kickass posing githyanki warlord so now I’ve got his silver sword thing. Not too much fannying around though, it was a lovely day. Invoices to send and stuff to worry about – I’m gonna really start wanting to know what the next long job is before long. The short job economy is kicking back in as it forever does, I’ve made room for it, of course. There are even some invigilation shifts on the horizon but I know how I want to be making my money and it isn’t giving papers out to international business students. It butters the parsnips though. And I do like buttery parsnips.

Now the New Year is past there are no more excuses to be a dreadful layabout.

I’ve been sitting here with Lou this evening, up in this lovely flat, missing my mum. Funny how that grief still comes up. It was her boyfriends birthday – the guy who died recently – on the 1st. His corpse, her memory, the time that has passed. It all weighs heavily at this time of year even if I distract myself successfully with the waifs and strays Christmas. Now there’s nothing to distract me, so it can cut that much harder.

At least Lou is with me, I have company on this cold dark evening. And Boo is raising merry hell. She comes up to the nut bowl, and carefully removes a single hazelnut. Then she bats it onto the floor and hockey-pucks it over to the rug, which she then folds round by rolling. Then she stashes the nut under the rug, like a squirrel but I don’t think she really understands that hazelnuts are food, they’re just things that roll. I’ll occasionally go and retrieve all the nuts, I don’t think it bothers her, she’s more involved in the process than the result. Like a lot of my favourite artists.

Brian’s new sourdough making craze is catching. I just took out the first loaf that is partly mine. We measured it together and folded it together. I forgot it in the fridge for a bit and it went a bit funny shaped but its a good loaf and I can see how everyone got obsessed with doing it in lockdown. Breakfast and snacks are sorted for a few days and I have the satisfaction of having made a food.

We read a film on zoom this evening, there’ll be a few industry types at a rehearsed reading in a few days and I’m only there to help out – my guy is half my age, has a full head of hair and a six pack. Happy to read him to help my dear friend who makes movies. Always good to keep the tools oiled. Something is coming.

And if it doesn’t, I know how to make bread now. And I can butter it.