The party boats are out on this unseasonably mild evening. I went for a walk, just so I could tell myself I’ve done something today. I’ve been sad. Took a while to hit me this time and I’m still pretty positive in my thought patterns, but the end of the show, hardness about a friend, the encroaching dark… It all came together. I cancelled my plans and stayed at home with a zoomy cat. I’m getting better at “don’t catch the ribbon” but I’m never gonna beat her. She is industrious and quick and has been good company. She knocks stuff over loudly at night though, and I’m gonna have to put a blanket at the end of the bed so she doesn’t eat my feet.
I thought I’d go out in the evening, just for a walk, just so I could feel like I’d done something with my day. It’s been uninspiring to look at through the window, but the reality was a pleasant surprise. The warmth in the wind was a pleasant surprise. I went up to the Kings Road, walked past loads of house parties, lots of big groups of tipsy people going to the next venue. It’s buzzy but I felt weirdly at home, safe. Like this is my town and tonight I’m not going to any of these parties and I’m not doing a play I’m just gonna hang out with this little black familiar, eat pasta and have a quiet night of it.
I feel a little separate from the world at the moment because I’m half deaf again. It popped and cleared two days ago and then I had another bath last night and the same thing happened. I’ll have to wear ear plugs in the bath from now on. Something has happened to make my left ear a one way street for water that then just sits there causing me no pain but messing with my alignment and my hearing. I reckon it’ll clear in about two days and I’ve got to remember not to do it again. I might try putting my head upside down… My handstand is pretty practiced at the moment, and it’s the only angle I haven’t tried to get the water out…
Walking back to my flat I saw how I’d left all the lights on. Everyone else in my block was mostly dark, every room was blazing. No wonder the leccy bill is so high every month. Bad habits. Dad would be flabbergasted. I’m sure the baths are the main culprit. But still, every little helps…
AlBarclay 