I’ve been tidying and trying to work out what to bring. Out tomorrow morning to drive somewhere off in the middle of Wales. There might or might not be mobile reception. I’m sure they’ll have WiFi although there’s no mention of it on any of the info. Could be that I’ll be totally cut off. I’m only off for one more Bonanza Ayahuasca Weekend! Brian very nearly came with, but going the first time is considerably bigger than going the umpteenth time, so I get that he decided against it. It means I’ll have a long solitary drive over there. I offered to take some of the helpers but they don’t wanna go with the punters, and I remember the last time I went finding myself thinking I need to stop being a punter at these things. But I feel I want to complete this corner turning that started as I was heading into Othello, and continued as the frontmost age number shunted into a great big hairy 5.
Habits. I am a creature of habit in some ways, but a lot of my patterns and coping strategies have helped hugely over the years but are becoming unhelpful. The sudden sale of Eyreton got me clinging to stuff. But I’m weighed down by it now. And there are plenty of obliviating habits I’ve settled on to help me not really have to think too deeply, and none of them are gonna be my friend in the long run. It’s always helpful for me to bludgeon myself occasionally. So it’ll be two nights again in the infinite and I’ll go with strong intention and find out what sticks. Lou will be here when I get back, and staying until after New Year, which will help with putting a different spin on the old “get as drunk as I can for a week” way of coping for the dark days of Malcolm, between Christmas and New Year.
If I go silent it probably isn’t because I’m running the hills of Wales naked and covered in wode, shrieking in the language of the eagles, wreathed in trout. It’s probably because I haven’t got reception, so don’t you panic. I mean sure, people occasionally die yada yada but it’s not my first rodeo and I’m pretty careful going into it. Which reminds me, I’ll need to have a good breakfast as it’ll be the last thing I eat tomorrow. I don’t think there’s much in…
I ordered a Japanese floor mattress on Amazon and they totally lied to me about delivery time. It’s fucking annoying. I honestly thought it would come in time. It’ll probably come in handy on Christmas.
Boo is playing in the bedroom. I’ve made a pile with most of the things I don’t want to forget. I’m bound to forget some of it. Don’t need much though frankly. It’ll be all-reet.
Early start though tomorrow so I’m gonna try and get to bed. It’s already past midnight. Never been very good at this sleep racket.
AlBarclay 