No show this evening so it was just another day in the studio. It’s exhausting for my friend who is reading. She wanted me to do it instead of her but they wanted her voice so I’m helping her out. I’ve a sneaking suspicion it’d be quicker if it was me, just as I’d have spent a few days prepping it cos it’s still my job. She trained as an actor but it’s not been her jig for decades and, the unglamorous truth is that the bulk of the work is done in your bedroom. The days on set, the shows under the lights? They’re the mushroom. The complex network of skills and hidden work and talks with other practitioners – that’s the mycelium. “It’s about the work,” as an old voice teacher would repeat. And it really is. She’d bring up the old analogy of the swan on water. It looks serene and still, but that’s only because the legs are going like crazy underwater.
There was some compromise on quality today. A couple of misreads that I wanted to go back on were nixxed by the studio engineer who knew how far behind we were. I expressed concern to him. “We’re compromising integrity in the name of expedience.” He shrugged. “That’s the way of it.” He’s not used to having a creative eye in the room anyway, so he picks up on differences in the text as written, but has no ear to even hear the nuance between two different readings of the same words. He is the reason why in a climactic moment in Witcher 2 someone tells you that the enemy army has been “routed” but pronounces it like they’ve been told where to go by someone. There’ll be a few clangers now, despite my efforts to prevent them, because we haven’t enough time.
We finished early and I went to see an old friend. I have bought a month of Lime Bike and I’m using it whenever possible. Today, that involved getting a bike in Queens Park to join the tow path at Ladbroke Grove. I went down the tow path all the way to Park Royal.
Fuck me, Lime bikes are still thankfully mostly lawless. Forest has started to force everyone to only stop in designated areas, thus making themselves into buses where you have to work. I can still stop my Lime outside my flat and pick it up from there if it is still there in the morning. The economy is good enough that the chances are it won’t be.
Down the tow path, in darkness, it felt like I was only a bad encounter with a puddle of sick or dead leaves away from a cold wet sudden wet shock. I was very happy to be one of the few people choosing that route, but was struck by how many Lime Bikes I passed next to the narrow boats. Right now these bikes make so much possible. Likely that’ll change, they’ll be forced to become less relevant. Currently they are the best way to move around this city. Your own bike will get stolen. These bikes are no longer your responsibility as soon as they’ve got you where you need to go. That’s so London. I’m happy to be part of it.
Dinner with an old school friend. His mother supported my ambition and welcomed me when my parents were loving me but still frantically trying to stop me from being an actor. It continues to be lovely to share progress with him.
Then home for an attempt at an early bed but largely thwarted as my head won’t shut up. Right now I’m letting Boo use me as a climbing frame while I find a way to ease into sleep. I do have a little bit of sleepy drink left but I never use it unless there’s early work so I’ll have to go to sleep on my own terms. The content of the book we’ve been recording is remarkable and exactly right for where I am right now. It’s about letting go of the confines we make for ourselves and accepting that we have chosen this existence on a deeper level than we can properly understand. It’s about how we best honour the decision we made when we went into this one. It’s some of the densest prose I’ve been exposed to since Rosamund Mckitterick. It’s either a load of old hooey or the perfect book for me to have found here as I cross into what might be merely the second half of my existence in this one, but only if I take care. Mum had scant five years left …
AlBarclay 