I was honestly planning to take it easy this evening. I knew there was a company drinks thing planned. I knew it had been catalysed by one of my closest friends in this company and then hosted by another. It is worth a moment for me to stop and think about how absurdly fortunate I am to be in a company numbering more than two in terms of these long term close friends. Claire, Jethro, Maddy, Scott, Jono … then new friends but right at the core of this work are five people who have been deep deep into who I am for so long that it no longer matters how and when we met.
I didn’t want to go to the drinks. I had my curmudgeon hat firmly attached. Evening show off? I shall munch thumb and scratch bum. How dare you make me go and be convivial? Oh very well then.
It’s ten to three. I’m downstairs on my sofa. We all just walked home, the four of us not in Avonside. I put the heating on earlier so my cottage is toasty. I think we needed an expression of togetherness unrelated to the show. We are just past halfway. It’s good to have a moment to gather before we push to the end. There’s solidity and love in this company. We all see what each other are bringing and we all enjoy the curiosity of difference. It’s rare to find a team so bonded.
I’m gonna cook something, even if it’s just eggs. I know its late but my eating habits are largely targeted to post show and as a result I’ve only really eaten some cheese today. I avoided my vitamins before the matinee, as I knew my tummy was empty. I had some remarkable marmite crackers courtesy of Georgina, and used them on camembert from Ricardo. But largely I’m still hungry, and tired as well, but I’m gonna force awakeness until I’ve got a thing in me just because it feels correct.
I’ll slap up a lunch before the show tomorrow, trust me. I’m just still settling into a discovery of patterns that work for me. I haven’t lost my appetite for fear of election results over the pond, that would be madness. Why would I be worried about things so far away to the extent that I can barely stop fidgeting. It’s all going to be fine. la la la la la.
Eggs. That’s the ticket. Nice eggs. Yum yum. Tasty nice quick eggs and then sleep. Everything fine and happy. Happy and good. Yes yes yes.
This is terrifying. The whole world is watching. I feel sick.
AlBarclay 